Freedom
by xXHeart of GoldXx
Summary: A story of Shego's past starting from when she was about nine or ten up until she is hired by Dr. Drakken.  This is a story of how a sweet, scared little girl turned into Shego.  Had to up the rating for part 2.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Kim Possible.

Noelle entered her bedroom and heard screaming and yelling, mostly from her father. Her parents constantly fought and it bothered her till no end. She was a nervous child; too nervous. She had a habit of biting the tips of her fingers until they bled. She would even pick the skin off of the tips of her fingers and peel it off. She liked to imagine the sound of her cells being peeled away one by one. She wondered if they screamed or if they hurt when she did this. She imagined it sounded like paper ripping slowly down the middle. But she never bit her nails. Her nails hid the raw skin that tried to grow back, well at least from the frontal view of her hands anyway.

She put her pink backpack with butterflies on it on the floor. She unzipped it and took at her homework folder. She had put a test in there to show her parents. Where was it? Oh, it was in the left pocket behind some notices her parents would never see. She grabbed the test which had a gold star on it and a ninety eight percent written on the top of it in red pen and a good job written underneath. She smiled when she saw it and held it in her bitten up fingers.

She got the courage to leave her room. She never left it unless she had to use the bathroom or was hungry. And even then, she'd wait until she couldn't anymore especially when she was hungry. She held the test in her left hand as she descended the stairs. She could feel her heart beating quickly and she found herself holding her breath and periodically letting the carbon dioxide expel and breathe in fresh oxygen.

She entered the kitchen where her parents were. Her father had to go back to the office soon so she figured she'd have to hurry up and tell them how well she did on her test she had the other day. She never showed her parents the good grades she usually got, but today was the highest one she had received yet. She figured if she did better then her parents would stop fighting.

"Daddy…mommy…?" She said quietly and would most likely not be heard over her father's yelling. "Daddy? Mommy?" She tried again only a few decibels louder. However, her father had noticed her presence and stopped yelling at her mother. He looked at Noelle angrily, as if she had disrupted an important matter.

"What the fuck do you want?" He said to her, his anger still showing as he balled his fists. Noelle was afraid she'd be hit again, but she figured that she would be okay because she did good on her test because whenever Henry did well or Michael, they would get praised for it. So, she wanted attention from her parents; the good kind.

"I…umm…got my math test back…" She said and held it out. Her father grabbed it out of her hand and looked through it, flipping the pages back and forth. She put her hands behind her back and crossed her fingers, hoping that she'd made her parents happy.

"What is this? You added wrong? What is twenty four plus twenty seven?" He said to her and glared daring her to get it wrong. Noelle thought for a moment. "Well?"

"Umm…fifty one?"

"And why did you write forty one on the test? You are a dumbshit." He threw the test back at her. It landed on the floor in a paper ball. Tears threatened to spill over her eyes. She looked up at her mother whom just looked back down at the floor shaking her head back and forth, basically informing her that she didn't do well enough. Noelle bent over and picked up her test. Her father slapped her hard across the face.

Noelle had run back up to her room and cried but she didn't make a sound. She smoothed the test out. It was still crinkled, but she could still see that ninety eight. "I just can't be good enough." She whispered to herself and began to pick at the tips of her fingers again.

Noelle didn't really remember the past night. She just remembered her mother had left and she didn't come back the next morning. And then she didn't come back after a week. And then a month passed. Noelle couldn't accept that her mother had abandoned her so she'd look out the living room window and sit by it, hoping she'd see her mother come back. She didn't care whether her mother came in stumbling and reeking of alcohol or if she came in and cut herself in front of her.

Noelle sat by the window and watched the people walk by. She let tears fall from her face. She felt as if it was her fault her mother left. She kept telling herself if she had done better on that test, maybe her mother would have stayed. She looked at the phone to her right. She really wanted to call her oldest brother Henry who was away at college. But she didn't want him to worry. He was having a good time there and she didn't want to bother him over something that could have been prevented.

Taking in a ragged breath, she went up to her room. Her father would be home soon and she didn't want to be caught looking out the living room window again. She still had the bruise from last time and she didn't want to get hurt again. However, she feared that the next person to walk by might be her mother. But the fear of getting hurt overtook her.

Noelle sat up on her bed and cried. She never uttered a sound; she didn't want to be that weak. She knew she was weak but she didn't want to be so weak that she'd cry like the twins all blubbering and sniffling. She remembered that the twins needed their dinner. So, she crept down the stairs to grab them something. She looked through the cabinets, searching desperately for something for them to eat. She was glad when she found two bananas sitting on the counter. The skin had gone brown but she figured they wouldn't notice because they were only three and weren't too picky about food. She took the last of the apple juice and poured it in two cups for them. She set them on the tray with the bananas. Then, to the right of the fridge she found apple sauce. She decided she'd give that to them in the morning for breakfast. She couldn't let anyone else eat it, so she put it in a lunch box with an ice pack.

Noelle was racing against time. It was five o'clock and her father wasn't home yet and she was glad about that. But that meant he'd be home any second. Not wanting to be found taking her father's food, she rushed upstairs with the boys' dinner. She entered their room where they cried because they were hungry. "Aaron, Aidan I've got dinner." She smiled and set the tray down on the ground. She peeled the bananas and gave them one each. They ate happily and drank their apple juice. It wasn't much of a dinner and Noelle felt bad about that. But tomorrow was Monday so the boys would be going to preschool and she'd be going to school.

She jumped when the door opened and was glad that it was only Michael. "Sorry sis, didn't mean to scare you." He said and sat down next to them. He opened his backpack and took some food out of it. Noelle was surprised when there was turkey, mashed potatoes, carrots and peas, and even a quart of milk.

"Where'd you get all this?" She asked.

"I got it from Mrs. Harrington down the street. I was walking down the street just because and she gave it to me! I thanked her of course." Michael explained. "We have to eat with our hands though because I don't have any forks."

"That's fine. I'll save the bananas for another day." She said and took them from the boys and put them in the lunch box with the applesauce. They spread the food out on the tray and dug in except Noelle. She was told by her mother not to eat dinner or else she'd get fat and ugly.

"Come on," Michael urged, "You have to eat this."

"But you know I can't. Mommy said…" She was interrupted.

"Doesn't matter what she says because she isn't here anymore. And besides, what she said about girls not eating dinner is a load of bullshit."

"Michael! Not in front of Aaron and Aidan!" She gasped. "Mommy never lied to me."

"Whatever. But tonight, you're going to eat this. Okay?"

"Well," She hesitated before picking up a slice of turkey. "I guess I don't know when I'll eat again." Their father had stopped giving the two lunch money. So, when they were able to eat they had to eat. Noelle knew that this meal was full of calories but she was desperate and hungry. Her mother wasn't there anymore to make sure when she ate or when she didn't. So, she dug in with her brothers and ate. However, they weren't stupid and decided to save some for tomorrow night. They shoved it in the lunch box with the squished bananas and applesauce.

Noelle went back to her room after tucking in Aaron and Aidan in bed. She wondered where her father was because he hadn't come home. She preferred it that way though because she felt safer but she also hated it because she was on high alert every second of every minute of every hour. But then again, when wasn't she?

In her secret hiding spot in her closet, she placed the lunch box there. It was behind her clothes and under the floorboard. Her father never entered her closet. He said it was because he didn't need to know what she liked or what she needed. And he actually didn't care enough to even check it. She was thankful for her father's carelessness.

Seeing that it was ten at night, she decided that she'd go to bed. She turned off the lights and wished she had her old nightlight that her mother let her keep. However, her father didn't like it and since her mother was gone, he smashed it to bits and pieces in front of her. She didn't let herself cry, she remembered. She had been strong in front of her father but she was weak when she was sent to her room.

She opened the curtains and let the light from the city enter her room. But it wasn't much because her window faced the building next to her house. Most of the lights were out. She saw that the man with the glasses was looking out his window again. She didn't feel like talking to him tonight, so she just went into her bed and closed her eyes. She was surprised how sleepy the food had made her. Her stomach wasn't making grumbling noises that would normally keep her up at night. She felt fat.

Noelle made sure her brothers ate breakfast. She ended up giving them the bananas that they started last night so they wouldn't go bad. Michael had already left around six thirty to go to middle school. So, it was just her, the twins, and her father who would leave for work at any moment. He had come home late last night and went straight to bed which was unusual for him. She decided not to question him when she entered the living room and saw him there reading the paper. "Good morning, Noelle. Boys." He didn't look up but didn't sound angry with her for some reason. Noelle shrugged it off, afraid to even acknowledge that he wasn't being unreasonable. "You three going off to school?" He must have noticed their backpacks.

"Yes." Noelle said timidly.

"Well, be careful." He said and took a sip of his coffee. Noelle nodded and grabbed Aaron's hand in her right and Aidan's in her left. She went through the front door with them. She had to leave twenty minutes earlier than the other kids her age because she had to drop the twins off at preschool. She didn't mind though because that meant less time at home.

"Look at the snow!" Aaron pointed. She could feel him tugging on her arm and wanting to jump in it.

"Yeah, there's a lot of it." Considering it was the middle of December, snow was bound to be present in Go City. "But you'll have to wait until after school to play in it."

"Okay." For three year old boys, they were both very obedient towards their sister. Noelle wondered why but she didn't want to question things that went her way because that rarely happened. As she walked them to school, she thought about how different the two were. Aaron was the talker and the dominant one. He was in charge. Aidan was quiet and dependent on his twin. They were well behaved though. They had that in common. But who wouldn't be well behaved if you were going to be beaten if you didn't? Fear seemed to be an important aspect in her father's parenting style.

Finally, they had arrived at the preschool. She walked them into the classroom. She released them and they went to go play with their friends. She wished she could forget about everything just like that. Their teacher said hello to her but Noelle just smiled politely and went off to her own school.

She walked by herself which was dangerous in Go City because it was so big. Well, if she was older it wouldn't be as dangerous. She was only a nine year old, almost ten. She could hear people say things about her parents such as "Why would they allow her to walk alone?" But most people ignored her and acted as if she didn't exist. She was fine with that. She walked up the steps to the elementary school and then entered her classroom. She usually got there a little bit late but only by minutes. But it caused the teacher to dislike her. So, she would always call on Noelle even if her hand wasn't raised. She was a quiet girl and could barely be heard when she said the answer to a question even though it was usually right. Except today she was on time. Her father hadn't hurt her this morning so there was no bruise or cuts to cover up or blood to clean up. "Good morning Miss Gordon. I am glad you're here on time for once." _If only you knew_. Noelle thought and took her seat in the back of the classroom.

She didn't have many friends due to the fact she kept to herself or the kids wouldn't bother with her. They didn't bully her and if she spoke to them they wouldn't ignore her. She was known as the good girl or a goody two shoes but she hated being called that. A lot of the girls admired her blonde hair. Most of them had brown hair which Noelle thought was pretty. But her mother taught her blonde hair was better but she didn't have to listen to everything her mother said. This made her feel rebellious. "Hello Noelle." Samantha sat down next to her. Noelle was kind of repulsed by this girl. Her cheeks were too chubby and her clothes were too tight so her stomach bulged in it and she could see every roll. She wondered how this girl even moved. Her fingers were so chubby they looked as if they couldn't bend correctly. She was forced to sit next to Sammy and she didn't like it. But she would never tell her that she was fat because she didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. So the only thing she could do was smile that innocent sweet smile that tricked everyone around her, folded her hands on her desk and look up at her and say,

"Hello Sammy. How are you?" She wished she wasn't so nice sometimes. She wished that she could be as mean as some of the other girls and tell Sammy that she was indeed fat and needed to stop eating for eleven people. But, she was too nice and she knew what it felt like to be called fat and be unaccepted.

"I am fabulous!" She said and with that chubby hand of hers, pushed a dark brown curl behind her ear. That was her word. For her, everything was fabulous. Her days were fabulous, her parents were fabulous, school was fabulous, she was fabulous. "And how about you?" Noelle shrugged and simply said,

"Okay." She could see Sammy eyeing her and looked a bit repulsed.

"You've gotta stop being so skinny, Noelle. Just look at your arms!" She pushed the sleeve of Noelle's sweater up her forearm. "Wow, look at those veins! It's like I could see the blood pumping right through them!" Sammy was always fascinated with those veins in her wrists and that one blue one she could see go up her arm and then disappear. She would touch them and just stare at them. Sammy couldn't see her own veins because of her layers of fat, Noelle assumed, so she'd let her have her fun just as long as she didn't have a bruise on that arm that day.

"Sorry." Noelle felt as if she had to apologize. She felt she was weird like that; always saying sorry even if it wasn't in her control.

"That's all right. This just means I will share my cookies with you at lunch time." Sammy always said that, but Noelle would never eat them. Then she'd be scolded at by Sammy because she didn't know what good food was when she saw it. She always commented on the tips of her fingers too. She'd say that they were gross but fascinating but she'd always tell her to stop picking at them. Ironically, the more she commented, the more Noelle picked at them because she'd get nervous.

At lunch, Noelle was forced to sit next to Sammy. Sometimes, she wondered what they looked like from behind sitting together. Noelle was almost ten and Sammy would be eleven next month. So, with the weight, age, height, and age difference, Noelle thought that they looked funny together. Since Noelle wasn't given money or lunch anymore, she didn't have any. But Sammy would give her the celery sticks that her mother packed her. Noelle ate them. After all, they were negative calories. And she'd eat the carrots and occasionally the piece of fruit. Sammy had told her her mother wanted her to start eating better but Sammy claimed she loved herself just the way she was and didn't need to be skinny to be happy. Noelle wondered how anyone in that body could be that confident and happy.

So, Noelle munched on those carrot and celery sticks as Sammy ate her cookies first, then sandwich, and then drink her water. It was kind of repulsive to watch her eat. It took her more time to eat the carrots than for Sammy to eat her whole lunch. "Are you doing anything after school?" Sammy asked her. She would always try to get Noelle to come over after school.

"I told my little brothers I'd take them outside so they could play in the snow when I got home. And I have to go somewhere after school. I thought I told you I was busy on Mondays." Noelle said sweetly with that sick smile again.

"Oh, I forgot!" Sammy laughed and patted her short friend on the head as if she was a dog. "Tomorrow then. My house. I've been asking you since September. You've gotta come over."

"Well…" Noelle said hesitantly, "I guess I could. I just have to ask my daddy first." She'd ask him tonight, she decided. She would prepare herself for a beating but in the end, he'd probably say yes as long as he didn't have to be involved.

"Cool!" Sammy said. The bell rang to go to recess.

Noelle loved it outside. The cold air blew her cheeks and made them numb. She liked that feeling. She could feel the wet snow seep through her sneakers but she liked that too. It made her feel as if she was alive but at the same time, she felt dead. Sometimes she wanted to be dead and this was the closest she got. Numbing herself in the cold was something she loved to do. However, Noelle was an active child especially after she ate, so she'd always run around outside and climb up to the top of the jungle gym, jump down, then climb back up, go on the swings, the slide, and do the monkey bars. She didn't hang out with Sammy at recess. Physically, she couldn't. Sammy would just sit down and read a book because she claimed running and playing on playgrounds was for babies. Noelle knew that Sammy was just fat and was too tired to do it. She didn't particularly like Sammy. She was just there. She didn't consider her a friend, maybe just an acquaintance. She was too fat and weird for her. But she had to go along with it and pretend to be her friend. She knew it wasn't the nice thing to do but it had to be done. Besides, it wasn't like she talked back about her behind her back or was controlling or anything. She let Sammy do the controlling. It was easier.

At the end of the day, Sammy had left to go on the bus home. Noelle was relieved, but didn't show it. She remained neutral. That girl got on her nerves. Luckily, she was able to just let things go and not get angry. She put on her scarf first, then her jacket, then her pink hat. She looked at herself in the mirror on the door of the closet door and examined herself. That puffy jacket made her look abnormally large and the scarf just added to the bulk. She felt she looked disproportioned because her legs were so skinny compared to her upper half. Sighing, she put on her backpack. "Miss Gordon, please come here for a moment." She hated that the teacher, Mrs. Smith called her Miss Gordon instead of by her first name like all of the other kids. She walked up to the desk and put on that smile.

"Yes?" Her voice was small. She didn't mean for it to sound that way, but it always did.

"Besides today, why are you continuously late?" Mrs. Smith didn't fool around. She sounded very annoyed.

"Because I have to walk my little brothers to preschool every day." She answered truthfully. Hopefully, she wouldn't ask further questions.

"Why do you walk them to preschool? Why don't your parents take them there? You used to be on time, but what happened?" Mrs. Smith leaned her elbows on her desk and put her head on her chin, elegantly holding it up. Her short black hair was tucked neatly behind her ears and her bright red lipstick reminded Noelle of blood, the blood that dripped down from her arm when she had cut herself with a coat hanger and her mother's knife.

"My mother left. She used to bring my brothers to preschool, but she left." Noelle said. She knew many kids lived with one parent so she wasn't any different and there was no reason to lie about it.

"Oh, I am terribly sorry! But your father can't bring them?"

"No." She said. "He can't because he has to go to work. It's easier this way." She explained.

"Well, okay. But please try to get here on time. I've been very lenient with you, Miss Gordon, and if you are late one more time this year, you will have to stay after school with me and clean up the classroom."

"Yes Mrs. Smith." Noelle said goodbye and left. She really hated Mrs. Smith. She had no idea what went on these days. But she wouldn't tell her because then she probably wouldn't have a dad anymore and she needed him even though she didn't want to admit it.

Noelle walked three blocks and entered an apartment. She went up the elevator and knocked on number 769. An old man answered the door. His hair was graying and he was short for a man; he was Japanese. Noelle thought the shape of his eyes were fascinating. She had seen pictures of his daughter who had moved back to Japan. Her eyes were so pretty; the dark brown and the slanted shape. She wished she could look like that with the pretty tan skin and straight black hair. The old man enveloped her into a hug and she hugged him back. He let her into the apartment. His name was Haruki and he was the person who taught her martial arts.

Martial arts were something that she was good at and it came naturally. In only four years, she was considered a black belt in various types of martial arts. Only Henry and Michael knew about the secret classes in Haruki's apartment. He was a great martial artist himself. Every Monday she'd go and get these lessons for free. She felt as if she was privileged and lucky to be learning how to fight and defend herself. She'd never use these moves on her father though. He was much bigger and she'd still be an easy target. But she'd be able to dodge his every move. But then he'd get suspicious and then she may not see Haruki anymore. No, it wasn't worth it. She'd rather take the beatings.

As usual, Haruki would tell her to eat more meat so that she could gain more muscle mass and then she'd be able to do more things. However, she was afraid to get fat so she never really listened. He was like a grandfather to her and she was like a granddaughter to him. He was a lonely man and she was happy to keep him company on Mondays.

She left his apartment and walked the two blocks back to her house that looked out of place with an apartment to the right of it. She entered her house and was welcomed home by her three brothers. Michael had been picking the twins up from preschool after his school got out. She felt bad for the twins because they had to stay in preschool twice or three times as long as the average three year old and they had to go every day now. This was something that she couldn't blame her father for. "Can we play in the snow now?" Aaron asked her.

"Of course." Noelle said. She managed to get them in their snow gear and she and Michael got in their own. They went sledding, made a snowman, and had a snowball fight. They were outside past five o'clock and they didn't even know it. So, when their father got home and they were all inside drinking hot chocolate and having a good time, they looked at the clock when they saw him enter the house. Noelle pulled Aidan up to her lap and Michael pulled Aaron up to his.

"Why do you four look like you've seen a ghost?" Their father laughed and went down on one knee and dropped his briefcase and opened up his arms. "Come on; give your dad a big hug!" Aaron and Aidan hesitated but ran over and gave their dad a hug. Michael shrugged and nervously went over to the family hug. Noelle didn't know what to do. She began to pick at her skin again with her finger nail. She felt her feet moving towards them even though her mind was screaming at her, telling her it was a bad idea. She joined in the hug. It broke after a moment, and her father stood up and hung up his coat and put his briefcase on one of the kitchen counters.

"Are you feeling all right, dad?" Michael asked as he watched his father take out some food and began to prepare dinner.

"Of course I am. Listen," He stopped what he was doing, "I am sorry how I treated you; all of you. I can't be sorry enough. I never should have yelled at you like that or hit you. It's not your fault that your mother was messed up."

"Well, I guess we can forgive you, right?" Michael asked. He had stepped up since Henry had left for college. He had been able to be the voice for the younger three who were terrified of him.

"Okay." Noelle doubted the twins even knew what was going on. They would just say okay to just about anything. They had probably learned that it was easier that way.

"Noelle? Do you forgive daddy?" Her father asked her and looked sincere. Noelle used her smile to fake it. She knew everything wasn't okay with them. She knew Michael must have known that too but he was just going along with their father because it was easier that way.

"Of course." She found herself saying.

"Good. Because tomorrow I am taking you out shopping. You like to get clothes, right?" Noelle remembered she was supposed to ask to go over Sammy's house. And since he was in a good mood, she decided to ask anyway. She was prepared to get hit at any moment.

"Actually, I was invited to go to someone's house. She's been asking me for a while now."

"Well, that is just fine. I'll take the boys out tomorrow instead. Just don't make plans for Wednesday. That is for me and you." Her father smiled at her. She smiled back. Maybe he had changed.

The next day after school, Noelle got on the bus to go over Sammy's house. She had taken the window seat because Sammy said that she could. Noelle felt squished in the seat, but she was small enough to get comfortable. Sammy was showing her off as if she was a pet. Whenever someone got on the bus, she'd say, "Hey, this is my friend, Noelle!" She could feel her cheeks get redder every time she said it. Then, Sammy would pat her on the head when the person passed her. Needless to say, Noelle was glad when the bus began to move. "So, what should we do when we get to my house?"

"I umm, I don't know." She confessed.

"Well, what do you do when you get home from school?"

"Play with my brothers." She told the truth. But she left the part out that she would look out the window and hope she'd see her mother pass the house.

"What do you play with them?" Noelle shrugged.

"I don't know. Sometimes Michael will play with my Barbies with me."

"A boy? And he plays with Barbies?" Sammy said and put her hand on her heart and acted shocked.

"So what if he does?" Noelle defended her brother. "He does it for me." She lied. She knew Michael really liked to play with them because he just liked them.

"Oh, well then I guess he's a nice big brother." Sammy smiled at her. Noelle noticed that it disappeared behind her cheeks that bulged over her mouth when she smiled.

"Yes he is." Noelle said and put her fake smile back on.

"Well well well, Sammy. Looks like you've got a friend." A boy said and sneered at her.

"Yes. She is fabulous." Sammy pat Noelle on the head again. "Her name's Noelle."

"Huh, she's actually pretty. You did well. I mean, I thought that only the pigs and cows would be your friend." The boy laughed.

"Excuse me?" Sammy said and Noelle saw her hands ball into chubby round fists.

"Well, you do look like some big old cow next to her. I think you're fat is squashing her, Sam. You might want to rethink who you make friends with. You cows should hang out together so that you don't look as fat. But putting Noelle next to you, it's just hysterical. Have you ever seen yourself walk around with her?" He laughed at her.

"Just shut it, Josh." She said and then the bus stopped. Noelle followed Sammy off of the bus and saw that they had stopped at a condo complex. "I hate Josh. I don't know how I'll get him off my back." She could see Sammy was hurt. She wished she could do something to cheer her up.

"I don't know. Maybe just don't listen to him. And when he wants you to get angry or cry, don't. Then he might leave you alone." Noelle said. She knew that if Sammy lost weight, he would stop but she obviously didn't want to give up her 'fabulous' cookies and cakes.

"Maybe you're right." Sammy smiled and took Noelle's hand, leading her deeper into the complex of condos. They had entered one of them and Noelle took her shoes off and put them next to Sammy's and then she took off her jacket, hat, and scarf. Sammy hung them neatly in the coat closet. "We should do our homework before we play. Don't you agree?"

"Yes." Agreeing was easier, so that is what she did. They only had a math worksheet. Noelle finished it as quickly as possible.

"Wow, you're fast! And it's long division! How do you do it?" Sammy said and finished the last problem.

"I don't know. It just comes easy to me I guess." Noelle said. "But you're still good at math though."

"Yes, but you're math grade is much more fabulous than mine!" Sammy said and the two put their homework back in their backpacks. "My mom works from home, so she's in her office. My dad is on a business trip so he won't be back until Saturday. Does your daddy go on business trips?"

"Yes. Yes he does." Noelle said.

"What do you want to do now?" Sammy changed the subject.

"I saw a playground. We should go play on it." Noelle suggested.

"No, playgrounds are for babies. Let's have a snack instead." Noelle knew she'd say no, but she couldn't argue with Sammy. She might squash her. Sammy took out a plate and put Chip's Ahoy cookies on it along with some Oreos. She then poured two tall glasses of whole milk and placed them on the kitchen table. Noelle knew she had to be polite and eat a bit, but she was repulsed. Of course Sammy would have whole milk, not even two percent. Noelle knew whole milk was filled with tons of fat. And the cookies were even more fattening than the milk. She took one look at the Oreos and felt like gagging. Just thinking of the center filling repulsed her. It looked like fat. She knew it was a mixture of Crisco and sugar. So, she took a chocolate chip cookie instead. She ate it slowly. Sammy on the other hand was dipping various cookies in the tall glass of milk and stuffing them in her mouth. Repulsed by the crumbs and milk, Noelle stopped eating her cookie. "Is that all you're going to eat?" Noelle nodded, feeling sick watching the food churned up in Sammy's mouth as she spoke. She knew it would all just add onto her fat and then Josh would never stop picking on her.

"Yes. I'm not very hungry." Noelle said and watched Sammy put the dishes in the sink.

"You're never hungry. Let's go watch some television." They entered the living room and two hours went by with the two just sitting there and watching television. Noelle had energy she needed to burn, but forced herself to stay still anyway.

"Sammy," A woman, Sammy's mother, entered the room. "Aren't you going to introduce me to your new friend?" Like Sammy, her mother was big but she wasn't as round and her fingers didn't look as stiff. But she had a huge butt. If Noelle's mother saw this woman, she'd probably get physically sick and throw up just like when they saw a five hundred pound man on television a while back. Noelle wondered how this family even got to where they were. Didn't they have self control?

"Sorry mom. This is Noelle, Noelle this is my mom." She gestured and turned the volume of the television down.

"Hello Noelle. I'm Mrs. Brown. Pleased to meet you." She could tell that Mrs. Brown was looking at Noelle's thin frame in jealousy or maybe even disgust. It was probably jealousy because her daughter was so big.

"Nice to meet you too." Noelle used that pretty smile of hers to hide the repulsion on the inside. She watched as her arms jiggled up and down as she walked towards them and sat on the couch next to Sammy.

"Aren't you just a cute little thing?" Mrs. Brown said to Noelle.

"I know, she is really cute isn't she?" Sammy agreed and pat Noelle on the head again. Noelle just smiled. She felt as if she was a baby and they were cooing over her.

"Will you be staying for dinner?" She could tell Mrs. Brown seemed to like her. Or she wanted to watch her eating habits. Noelle didn't know what to say. She ate a cookie. She couldn't afford to eat dinner. But she found herself nodding yes and watched Sammy's eyes light up.

"Oh, that is so fabulous!" She clapped her chubby hands together. "Let's watch a movie until dinner's ready." More TV? What was wrong with Sammy? Who could watch that much television in one day let alone one afternoon? Noelle sighed but she didn't realize it until Mrs. Brown said something.

"Sammy, why don't you ask Noelle what she'd like to do?" She watched Sammy roll her eyes.

"Noelle, what would you like to do?"

"Umm, I'd like to go play on the playground outside." She said. "But it doesn't matter. You can choose what we should do."

"That sounds like a great idea, Noelle. Sammy, I'll call you when dinner's ready."

Sammy sighed and glared at Noelle as the two put on their shoes and jackets. Noelle was glad to get out in the fresh air. She began climbing on the equipment and going on the monkey bars. "How is this fun?" Sammy sulked on the bottom of the slide.

"If you come up here and actually slide down the slide it's fun. Sitting there isn't." But Sammy refused to go on the playground equipment. Noelle didn't mind because she was having fun. She heard Sammy's mother shout for them to come inside for dinner an hour or two later. They came in and out their jackets and shoes away. Noelle sat in a chair next to Sammy. She saw the buffet of food in front of her; pasta, chicken parm, a salad, ranch and Italian salad dressings, and a lot of Italian bread that was cut and already buttered. That was a lot of food.

"What would you girls like to drink?"

"Coke." Sammy answered happily and began eating the food on her plate.

"Water please." At least that was safe. Water was no calories no matter what, so she was glad when she saw the glass of the clear fluid behind her plate.

"Do you know what water's name is chemistry wise?" Mrs. Brown asked.

"I believe it is dihydrogen monoxide." Noelle said and watched the fat family eat a if it was a race to see who could finish first.

"Exactly. How did you know that?"

"My oldest brother Henry told me that when he was still in high school when he took chemistry."

"Oh, that is interesting." Mrs. Brown didn't seem like she was racing anymore and focused more on the conversation. "Where is he now?"

"He goes to Upperton University."

"Oh, that is interesting." Was everything interesting to this woman just like everything was fabulous for Sammy? "Do you have any other siblings?"

"Actually yes, twin brothers that are younger and another brother who's older."

"The only girl, huh? Interesting, I had four brothers myself and no sisters too. Except I was the youngest." Noelle nodded and began eating her salad. She then picked at the chicken, scraping the breading off of it and the cheese which just looked like cooked fat to her. She didn't touch her bread or pasta. That was just too much to eat. "Is that all you're eating?"

"I told you she's not a big eater." Sammy said and helped her mother clear the table. Before anyone else could pick at her eating habits, Noelle said,

"I should be going now. I don't want my dad to worry." She had gotten up from the table.

"But you'll miss dessert!" Sammy said. "We can have chocolate sundaes!"

"I'm not really all that hungry. Besides, we have school tomorrow."

"Noelle has a point, Sam." Mrs. Brown said. "How are you getting home?"

"I'm walking." She said.

"But it's dark out. I'll drive you home." Noelle couldn't argue with an adult because she knew that brought on pain and bruises. So, she gathered her things and got into the back seat of the car. She buckled herself in. Sammy sat next to her. She noticed how much she had to stretch out the seatbelt. Noelle didn't really like how she noticed people's weight like this and how much it bothered her.

When they pulled up to her house, Mrs. Brown had to comment on how beautiful her house was. She thanked her of course, and said goodbye to Sammy. When she entered the house, she wondered why Sammy liked her so much. Was it because she didn't openly criticize her? Noelle thought the same things other kids said out loud about her. Did that make her a terrible person? Maybe.

The next day after school, Noelle was picked up by her father. She thought it was odd because she always walked home. However, she remembered that her father had said he was taking her out shopping after school. Had he really taken the day off from work to take her out to the mall? She quietly entered his car and sat in the back seat. "Why don't you come and sit in the front?" Her father asked. Noelle knew she was nowhere near the weight requirement, but she did as she was told and got in the front seat. "How was school?" Was he really taking an interest in her day?

"It was good." She replied and smiled that smile that tricked everyone around her. Sammy had been too eager to invite her over again. But Noelle said she was busy and couldn't. Luckily, Sammy believed her little white lie.

"Now today, I don't want you to think about prices or the quantity of clothes you want. Just hand me anything you want and I'll buy it. I did the same thing for your brothers yesterday, so it's only fair, right?" Since when had he ever been fair? But Noelle loved the man her father had become. He was treating her like a person; like a daughter. That was all she ever really wanted.

He called her "his little princess" all day. She bought bags of clothes. She liked shopping. She hadn't done so since her mother left. It was like filling the hole. But she knew that all of these clothes couldn't fill the hole her mother had created. Nothing ever could. She knew she'd feel half empty the rest of her life. But she knew it was okay because hurting made her feel alive, just like the snow and the cold air numbing her.

"I think it's time you got yourself a training bra." Her father said quietly. Noelle looked down at her flat chest.

"But why?" She questioned him. She didn't really fear him anymore. Well, not as much anyway.

"Because it'll get you used to real bras for when you get older. Your mother wanted to get you one but unfortunately, she left before she could buy you one." Her father explained.

"Well, okay." She blushed. This was embarrassing. Especially when her father decided to bring it up in the Go City mall. He mainly picked them out. She didn't really know what she was doing. He picked out some with a small amount of lace on it. He said those were the only ones left in her size. She saw he was right. The other ones were too big for her. He made her try them on. They fit perfectly. Of course, she had to show him what they looked like on her because she didn't know how they were supposed to fit. Her father let her pick out some underwear. She figured since they were out, he had a point.

Christmas came and went. Henry never showed up for the holidays like he said he would, but he did call on her birthday. Despite Henry's absence, she had the best Christmas ever. The day after Christmas was her birthday, so they celebrated it like a normal family. Normal. She was beginning to love saying that about her family. For two weeks, she was able to feel normal. The tips of her fingers were healing and she wasn't picking at them anymore. She began eating a little more too. It was hard to resist dinner now that she was able to eat fully cooked meals.

So, it was the night of her birthday. She had just eaten some birthday cake and watched a movie of her choice. She chose a girly one and the boys had to suffer through it. She pulled the blankets up over her chest and only her head was showing.

Around eleven at night, she woke up to the sound of her door opening. She pulled the covers up to her chin, but relaxed when she saw it was her father. "Daddy?" She smiled. "What are you doing?"

"Do you trust me?" He asked her as he shut the door and sat at the bottom of her bed. She thought about the question. Before, she would have said she didn't, but now she didn't know what to say. She hadn't felt this loved by her father ever.

"I think so…why?" She asked him. She had become more charismatic and more comfortable in her own skin over the past month or so.

"Because I need you to do something for me." Noelle rubbed her eyes and nodded.

"What is it?" She asked him. He crawled on top of her. His breath smelled like alcohol. Had he been drinking again? He began pulling her shirt over her head. She froze in fear and let him take off her clothes except her trainer's bra and underwear. She had fallen asleep in her clothes. "What are you doing?" She said in almost a whisper.

"Loving you. You want me to love you, right?"

"Daddy, you're drunk." She stated. She had seen him drunk before. But he had never acted like this towards her. He leaned on his elbows and stared at her. He took his left and ran it down her skin, touching it lightly. "Stop it, daddy." She cried. "Stop it."

That night, he had taken something away from a ten year old. Noelle cried herself to sleep when her father left. He told her not to tell anyone or she'd be taken away and she'd never see her brothers again.

School had started again and Noelle had to act as if nothing was happening with her father. It was easier than she had thought. All she had to do was keep quiet. She began to pick at the skin behind her fingers again. They became raw and bled sometimes. They hurt more than she remembered but she would just pinch herself somewhere on her body and then her body would focus more on that pain.

Nobody hit her anymore. She didn't carry bruises from that. But she would have bruises from the nights her father decided to have his way with her. She started going to school late again. Mrs. Smith wasn't too pleased with that and threatened her she'd get a detention if she wasn't careful. Noelle would just smile and nod. A detention wouldn't be a punishment for her, it would give her an excuse not to go home.

She had gotten quieter. She didn't notice it until Sammy brought it up because Noelle hadn't been replying to her with her usual short answers. "You know, if you don't respond I won't be your friend anymore. You'll be friendless." Noelle didn't respond. She sat there with her hands seemingly folded on her desk, but she was picking at the skin behind her fingernails again and Sammy knew it. "If you don't stop picking your own skin off and if you don't talk to me I'm not going to be your friend." Noelle didn't say anything. She didn't care if she didn't have any friends due to the fact that she knew she could survive without them. "I'm not your friend anymore." Sammy told her. Noelle was glad there was a seat change.

She now sat next to a boy named Tyler. She had never spoken to him before and she didn't even think he knew she existed. Tyler was kind of tall for his age, but not freakishly tall. He had dark skin and short dark brown hair. His eyes were chocolate brown and he had a smile that could light up a room. He was thin, but strong. Nobody really messed with him and he didn't mess with anyone else. Noelle noted he was good and English and, well just about everything else. He would always look at her funny, as if she was diseased or something. But then it would turn into some kind of sympathy. She wondered why because he didn't know about her home life. He couldn't unless she let something slip from her mouth. Nope, she didn't because she rarely spoke.

After school on a Thursday in late January, he pulled her over to him before she made the turn to go walk home. Her scream was silent. Her mouth opened to scream, but nothing came out except a breath of warm air that she could see in the cold winter air. "Hey, is everything okay?" He asked her with concern. She tilted her head slightly to the left in confusion and picked the skin on her fingertips again out of habit and fear. She hoped he didn't sense her anger that she suppressed inside of her. It stayed there and sometimes it hurt. She never let her anger out.

"Wh-why do you ask?" She stuttered. She didn't have a stuttering problem, so he knew she was lying.

"Because you always seem so nervous. Follow me. It's too out in the open to talk right here." Tyler took her hand and led her to the top of the biggest slide on the playground where there was a little part with a roof over it, that little triangular one common above an average playground slide. She found herself sitting down next to him. "I know something is going on that you aren't telling anyone. What's wrong?"

"Absolutely nothing. I don't know why I even followed you here." Noelle began to stand up, but she was pulled back down.

"My parents abuse me, too." He said and looked up into her big blue eyes. "I know what you're going through. See?" Tyler pulled his sleeve up and showed her a large cut that looked as if it was in the process of healing. "It was a knife." Noelle found herself sitting beside him. She wondered how he could be so open about it.

"I'm so sorry." She said.

"Don't be. It isn't your fault. I don't just tell anyone you know. About my parents, I mean. Nobody would understand, but I think you would. Do your parents hurt you too?"

"Yes. My daddy. My mommy ran away."

"Mine died when I was born. My dad blames me for it. But I'm not stupid anymore. I know it isn't my fault." Tyler explained.

"My daddy used to be physically abusive towards me but then he stopped a month after mommy left. And then he stopped, completely taking advantage of me, trying to get me and my brothers to trust him." Noelle stood up and started pacing, her voice getting louder as she spoke. "And then I trusted him and then he does something to me that I can't even describe without even falling apart! He started to do things to me no father should do to their daughter. And he he…" She started to break down and cry. Tyler hugged her, knowing kind of what she meant.

"Doesn't it feel better to let it all out? Your anger I mean."

"It…kind of does." She admitted. "You won't tell anyone will you?"

"Of course not. I know what it's like remember. I've been wanting to talk to you for such a long time, Noelle." She smiled at him. Not that fake one, but a real one and it felt good to smile even through her tears. "It feels good to let it all out. I do it all the time with my brother. And sometimes I start to punch things like my bed or a stuffed animal. It helps a lot." Noelle nodded.

"I should get going." She said.

"Same. But don't let your dad get to you. Stay strong. See you tomorrow."

Noelle had felt a connection with that boy. They happened to have more in common than she thought at first. It was nice to know that there was someone else almost like her. They began to hang out on the weekends more often. She was glad when he would actually play on the playground with her. It was much more fun than playing with Sammy whom just sat around and seemed to grow horizontally every day. Sammy made it obvious she didn't approve of Noelle's new friendship. She had come up to her one day at recess and pulled her aside. "I don't like you hanging out with him, Noelle."

"I thought you said we weren't friends." She crossed her arms. Noelle knew she was developing more of a backbone. Her self esteem and confidence had increased. She now knew that there was nothing wrong with her in the first place. She wasn't alone.

"Yeah, well I made a mistake. I think we should hang out more don't you agree?" Sammy had said and smiled that ridiculous one that made her cheeks look as if they'd explode fat all over Noelle's pretty face. Sammy was probably expecting her to agree with her like she had in the past. She liked Noelle because she had been passive; a doormat. "Besides, don't you agree that Tyler is a freak? I mean, he's black! Black people are unintelligent freaks." Noelle's skinny fingers formed fists which she had never done in the past.

"No, I don't agree with you. I never have agreed with you! And you never, ever say that about Tyler again, you hear?" Noelle yelled at her. People had gathered around and watched them go back and forth, just insulting each other. Tyler stood behind Noelle and smiled, glad that she was finally standing up with herself.

"Black people aren't good for your kind, Noelle." Sammy tried to 'reason' with her which just made Noelle even madder than she was. Last night was a brutal night and she didn't want to deal with this controlling girl ever again.

"Listen to me, and listen to me good. You are just some racist white piece of fat fuck trash. And if you think I am going to let you boss me around and make fun of my best friend, well then you've got another thing coming." Noelle yelled at her. She felt anger completely take over. Kids gasped at her language and how the sweet quiet little girl handled herself. Nobody ever thought that a small little blonde haired blue eyed girl would ever say the things she just said. Most of the kids didn't even know what the f word was. Noelle had her father to thank for that one.

"I'm telling Mrs. Smith." Sammy cried and attempted to run off towards their teacher who sat under a tree. Noelle felt the anger leave her. Panic took over instead. The audience left and went back to go play. Tyler saw that she began to cry because of what she said.

"I didn't mean it. Really, I just didn't-"

"You got angry. It happens. She did say some pretty horrible things. Just tell Mrs. Smith what happened." Tyler said and rubbed her small shoulders.

"Mrs. Smith hates me and she adores Sammy. I'm pretty much dead." Noelle admitted.

"What's the worse she can do? Give you detention? Suspend you? I mean, it's not like your dad would care. Suspending you would be some kind of joke." Tyler was right, Noelle thought. She was glad he was around to knock some common sense into her. Why did she even fear detention or Mrs. Smith in the first place? Speaking of her, Mrs. Smith looked at Noelle angrily and grabbed her small little hand. Tyler waved to her sadly. She smiled back at him. She didn't care what Mrs. Smith was going to do to her. It couldn't be worse than what her father does to her most of the nights.

She was led into the classroom. "Sit." Mrs. Smith commanded. Noelle listened and sat down with tears falling from her face. "I will not tolerate this kind of language or any bullying at all, do you hear me young lady?"

"You don't know the first thing about bullying." Noelle said under her breath. Unfortunately, Mrs. Smith heard it.

"Excuse me? Noelle, since when have you gotten lippy?" Mrs. Smith said to her, surprised.

"You heard me. And no, you are not excused."

"Noelle, do I need to send you to the principal's office?"

"Go ahead, maybe he knows more about bullying. Look, I only called her those names because she was basically saying black people are terrible people. And I don't like racism. And neither does my daddy." She glared at her teacher, almost threatening her with those pretty blue eyes. "For the first half of the year, you watched Sammy manipulate me and boss me around till no end. And now you're sticking up for her? Honestly, I thought you were better than that Mrs. Smith." Noelle said, and found herself standing in front of the desk with both of her palms on it.

"Miss Gordon, how dare you! Making up these lies." She was actually surprised that this girl was even talking back to her. Most children feared her and she liked it. Noelle had once feared her, but it seemed as if fear wasn't even an option for an emotion. All she saw was anger from the scrawny blonde.

"I am not lying, Mrs. Smith. I wouldn't lie like that."

"You have the means to lie and come in late every day."

"Is that all you care about? Me coming in late to school? Well, I have my reasons."

"What are they?"

"You wouldn't understand." Noelle said. She didn't want to tell the truth and tell her that she covers up the bruises or throws up in the morning thinking about what her father had done to her the night before.

"Try me, Noelle. Just try me."

"It's not any of your business."

"If you don't tell me, I will have the principal suspend you for fowl language and unexcused tardiness."

"Do it." Noelle said. She watched Mrs. Smith walk up to the phone located in the classroom and put in the number for the principal. As she listened to her speak into the phone, Noelle felt as if she was free.

One April night, her father had gone too far. He was hurting her more than usual. He had physically abused her and had his way with her two times and was going for a third that night. It was the first night Noelle had let herself become weak and scream. She knew her brothers would hear her despite being all the way on the other end of the hallway in her father's room. Her father kept doing what he was doing, enjoying her screams of agony and fear.

She felt the weight of her father being pulled off of her. It was dark, so she didn't know what was going on. She heard punches and someone fall to the floor. She was hoping it was her father who had fallen. She freaked out when she saw someone of about the same height, a man, stand in front of her. She grabbed the blankets and pulled them close to her chin. Her whole body ached when she moved, but she didn't care at the moment. "Noelle, it's okay. It's me." She immediately recognized the voice of her oldest brother, Henry. Despite what had happened, she smiled genuinely at him. He brought her into a hug. "No one will ever do this to you again, do you hear me? Nothing like this will ever happen again."

The rest of that night and the days following it was a blur. She remembered speaking to some policemen about the incident, but she blocked it out of her mind. She hated talking about that. Talking about that didn't make her feel any better.

She and her brothers missed two weeks of school. Within those two weeks, Henry had moved them all into an apartment across town. She wondered how he could even afford an apartment when he was only eighteen himself. She didn't ask though. She was just glad to get out of that tainted house where everything went wrong. She knew that Henry wouldn't abuse her and her other brothers. She had used to talk to a man with glasses that was in the apartment adjacent to her house. She never said goodbye to him. He was a nice guy. She'd ask him questions, he would answer. But he was gone forever now. She didn't really want to know who he was but she silently thanked him for the good times they had (even though they had to shout across from their windows).

Noelle had to share a room with Michael, the twins shared one, and Henry had his own. The apartment wasn't too bad; she'd adjust to it. And with her father gone, she was content. Her fingers had almost healed again within those two weeks. Henry had temporary guardianship of the four of them. He was going to go to court to sue her father for custody. The police tried to track down their mother, but they couldn't find her. Henry explained to them that their mother had abandoned them.

Noelle knew Henry had sacrificed a lot. He had to drop out of college in Upperton so that he could focus on his younger siblings. He had gotten a full time job at Bueno Nacho and had to support himself and four children on a minimum wage salary. Noelle felt so guilty that she had given him a couple of hundred dollars she had saved up over the years. It took him a while to accept it, but he eventually did. Michael had even given up his money too. The twins had no idea what was going on, but all they knew was that they didn't have to be afraid anymore.

Henry had explained to her that the situation they were in was personal and the school didn't know what had happened to her; it just looked as if she moved in with her brother temporarily so she didn't have to explain anything to anyone once she went back to school. She was glad because she didn't want the whole world to know about their situation. She didn't think any of her brothers did.

Noelle had learned that Michael had been physically abused by their father when she wasn't around. He had the scars to prove it. Henry beat himself up about all of this. He kind of blamed himself because he wasn't home as often as he should have been and he should have known how bad it was going.

It was time for Noelle to go back to Go City Elementary. When she entered the class, everyone asked her where she had been and why she had moved to an apartment. She didn't answer them. She had told Tyler about it though last weekend, but he was an exception. He told her he was glad she had gotten out of that horrible mess. "And I thought I had it bad." He had said.

Noelle took her seat next to Tyler. Of course, she was late again but Mrs. Smith only glared and didn't say anything to embarrass her on her first day back. She was very silent again. She had nothing to say to anyone except Tyler with whom she joked around with. Sammy had come up and bombarded her with questions, but she ignored her. Funny, it looked like Sammy had gained more weight if that was even possible. Noelle knew that she had gained some weight but she knew that she had needed to once Tyler knocked some sense into her. He did that a lot. She was still a bit underweight, but she looked a lot healthier. She learned to eat when she was hungry and feeling full didn't mean she was fat.

At the end of the day, Mrs. Smith asked her to stay for a moment. "I'll meet up with you Tyler." She smiled at him, he smiled back.

"Okay. I'll see you soon." He went off, probably to the top of the slide where they went after school.

"Even when you move closer to the school, you manage to be late. And on your first day back. Explain to me your excuse this time, Miss Gordon." Noelle got angry. How dare she even say any of that? She didn't know what she had went through. Her hands went into fists and she expressed her anger. After almost a year with Mrs. Smith made her want to scream. She had made her feel worse than she had already felt. All of the scolding she had gotten because she was late to school because she brought her twin brothers to school…she couldn't take it anymore. Noelle cracked.

"How dare you say any of that! Do you just hate me or something? Do you think I'm an incompetent fool who doesn't know that I'm late almost every day?" She yelled at her teacher.

"Are you going to speak to me like this young lady? You think you'll get away with this?" She snapped.

"Yes, I think I will. I don't have to listen to you, Mrs. Smith. I'm not afraid of you like every other kid in the school. You're fear tactic won't work anymore!" By the words she was using, she sounded smart; very intelligent. She acted more like an adult sometimes even though she was only ten. "I can't take you're constant nagging over and over again. I've been through a lot. More than you probably ever went through. Want to know why I was late every day? Hmm? I was late because my father would beat me, then I'd have to hide the bruises, then I'd walk my brothers to school, and then I'd come here! And when I went home, I got even more beatings and more bruises and cuts. In the fall, my stupid mother literally ran away and left us home with an abusive father so Michael and I had to step up with the twins!

"And it gets even better. My father tricked me into loving him and trusting him. But guess what? It was just some sick joke. He started to touch me and do things to me that was even worse than abuse. The policeman told me it was called rape. And finally I get out of it, move in with my older brother Henry. Things started to look better for me but then you pull this tardy crap on me. I can't take it anymore! I just can't take it…" Noelle broke down and callapsed onto the floor. Mrs. Smith had no idea she had been through so much. She knelt down next to Noelle and brought the broken girl into her arms.

"I am so sorry, I had no idea…Are you telling the truth?"

"Why would I lie about this Mrs. Smith? Why would I?" She cried into the older woman's shirt.

"I'm so so sorry." Mrs. Smith said and rocked her back and forth. "Why didn't you tell anyone?"

"If I did, then me and my brothers would be separated. I didn't want that. And I didn't want Henry to do what he's doing now."

"Shhh…it's all right now." Mrs. Smith said and had somehow pulled Noelle onto her lap. She never realized how thin she really was.

"It's just so hard. I-I've never had it easy."

"I know, I know." She rubbed her back in a motherly fashion. "I'm sorry I was so hard on you, Noelle."

Noelle held Henry's hand as she entered the courtroom and sat down on a chair slightly off to the side from her brother and his lawyer. Michael had been there the day before. Noelle didn't understand why she was needed other than to answer some questions. She was nervous, but Michael just told her to be brave and answer the questions. He said it was easy. And since they were underage, he said the judge was very easy on him and there was no doubt that Henry would win otherwise.

A few days ago, Noelle was afraid to go to court. She had told Tyler what was going on. He told her to tell the truth no matter what. She agreed with him, but now that she was forced to sit in the chair to the left of the judge, she was freaking out. Her father was there and staring at her. She didn't know if she should tell the truth. If she did, her father would surely get her later in life. But Tyler had told her not to lie and she was sworn in to tell the truth. She couldn't lie to the nice judge that was staring down at her.

Her father's lawyer began to question her and she lost her voice. She couldn't answer them. She was confused by what he was saying. She heard him use a double-no-triple negative. She didn't know how to answer that question. She didn't know if the judge would even catch that. So, she didn't say anything. "Answer the questions, Noelle." The judge urged.

"I-I can't." She confessed.

"Why not? Is it because you're lying about what happened to you that night?" Her father's lawyer asked. He was trying to make her look bad in front of the judge and she knew it. Her father was a monster, but nobody else really knew that except Michael and her other brothers.

"No, it's because I don't understand what you are asking." She said and looked at her feet that failed to reach the ground from the chair.

"He's asking you why your father, being so high in society and so well respected, would do this to you." The judge said. She looked over at the judge and nodded.

"Well…I really don't know why he would do it."

"Just say everything that comes to mind about the situation."

"Well…he used to hit me before my mommy ran away. Then he hit me after she left. And then he started to buy me things and call me his little princess, cupcake, pumpkin, those kind of things. And then on my tenth birthday, he started to…what's the word? I think it's rape. Yeah, he raped me." Noelle said. She was surprised how easy it was to talk about after she had told Tyler multiple times. He was right, yet again, that talking about things like that makes it a lot easier.

"So he began to rape you on December twenty sixth?"

"Yes your honor." Noelle said.

"Your brother Michael had mentioned that your father bought you training bras a few weeks before. Is this correct?"

"Yes." Noelle blushed, not fully comfortable to say that she wore them.

"And where did he touch you? Use that doll right there to show me."

"Here and here and…pretty much all over." She said pointing to the various parts of the doll. She was surprised that she hadn't broken down like the last times she had talked about it.

"Wouldn't you be crying right now, Noelle? I have dealt with cases almost like this one. Grown women are known to cry during these trials. How come you seem to be so content with this?" The lawyer asked her.

"I have been talking about it with my friend Tyler. And I told my teacher one day after school. I already cried enough."

"She's a smart girl, Mr. Gordon." She said to her brother. He nodded and said,

"I know." She could tell by that fact that she wasn't bawling over it that the judge didn't believe her anymore.

"Listen, I understand why you don't believe me. But I have no reason to lie. I'm not a liar. I was upset about it, but I got over it. I talked about it and I have no need to shed anymore tears because of him."

"Oh, I believe you, sweetie. I know you aren't lying." The judge said and before Noelle knew it, Henry was granted full custody of her and Michael, Aaron, and Aidan.

While she waited for Henry to finish things up, her father had been able to talk to her. "Listen to me good. I will get you for this." He was then taken away. Would he get her for it? She didn't know but she didn't have to worry because he'd be locked up behind bars. That was all she cared about for the moment.

A few years had gone by. Noelle was glad to be ending eighth grade with a normal, stable life. She wasn't afraid of anything anymore. She no longer had nervous habits, like the one where she'd peel the skin off of the tips of her fingers. Just thinking about it made her feel sick to her stomach. She couldn't believe she had done things like that. She was glad that her height had caught up with the rest of the girls in her grade. She liked to be an average girl. Sure, she had more responsibilities than people her age due to the fact she lived with her oldest brother, but she was very confident with herself. She was still skinnier than most people though. But she felt okay about that because she didn't starve herself anymore.

She had gained many friends left and right since she had started middle school. She had been told middle school was the worst years of anyone's life but for her, it had been great. Of course like everyone else she had gone through her awkward stage during seventh and eighth grade. On a positive note, she'd be starting high school with a B cup chest.

Tyler was still her best friend. They had been inseparable since day one. So, when he spoke to her after school and said he was going away, Noelle was almost devastated. And Noelle Marie Gordon wasn't known to cry anymore. "What do you mean you're leaving? We're going to start high school in a month. You can't just leave!"

"I have to, Noelle. I can't stay with my dad anymore. It's getting out of hand. I have to leave." Tyler said. His voice had gotten somewhat deep and he luckily didn't squeak when he spoke.

"But…you can't leave now. You can last four more years, can't you?" She asked.

"I would like to think so. But I can't. I hate the dysfunction. You wouldn't understand."

"What do you mean I wouldn't understand?" She asked, completely surprised by his previous statement. "I was in a situation like yours you know."

"Not for three, four years now. I think you forgot what it was like."

"How could I even forget what it was like? It was torture, but I wouldn't run away." Noelle said. They were fighting now and she didn't like where it was going. She leaned into his chest and let him hold her. "Take me."

"I can't take you with me. I won't put you through that." Tyler said.

"No, not that. I know you wouldn't take me with you even though I'd go with you in a heartbeat." She said. "I mean, I want you to…"

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" He asked her.

"Depends what you're thinking." She smiled up at him.

"I think you're thinking that you want to have sex with me." Tyler said.

"You guessed correctly." She said and grabbed his hand. She forced him to run with her for seven blocks until they reached the condo complex where she and her brothers had moved to once they could afford the bigger space. Noelle had her own room in the basement. Her and Michael had fought over it, but she had received it because she was a girl and she had to live with four boys. So, she had gotten it easily.

Noelle playfully pushed her onto her queen sized bed that she had bought with her own money. She straddled him and began to kiss him passionately. She began to wish she had been romantically involved with him when he wasn't going to run away. "What about your brothers?" Tyler asked her between kisses. "Especially Henry. He'll kill me."

"Relax. The twins are still in school, Michael told me he was going to his boyfriend's house, and Henry won't get out of work until seven. We're safe." She began kissing him again.

"But what about…you know…I don't want to get you pregnant."

"Does it matter?" She smiled. Noelle was taken by surprise when Tyler flipped her over and he took control. They began to undress and they were eventually wearing nothing. Noelle began to explore his body. She had gotten on her knees on the floor while Tyler sat on the bed. She took his manhood in her hand and began giving him a hand job. She felt it getting harder, so she began to lick it, teasing him. She smiled amusingly at his moans of pleasure. She took it and put her mouth on it.

"You've got to stop." Tyler said because this wave of intense pleasure was new to him. He forced her to get on the bed. She knew he'd make her suffer this time. He put his hands on her breasts and kneaded them and put his mouth on her left breast. He took one of his hands off and began going south. She didn't really know what he was doing, but whatever it was it felt good. She began to rock her hips up and down when he began licking her.

"Tyler, please…" She said. He went on top of her and stared down at her.

"Are you sure?"

"It was my idea, wasn't it? Now please get on with it." She smiled at him. He obliged by slowly thrusting into her. Needless to say, she loved every moment of it. She knew it was probably just sex, not the whole love making experience, but she didn't care. Noelle found that she loved it when he did this to her.

When they were finished, they had gotten under the covers. She didn't want him to let go for some reason. She made sure he was holding her. "Do you really have to go?" She asked him.

"I do." Tyler said. "And who knows? Maybe I'll see you again."

"When are you leaving?"

"Tonight. It's for the best. I don't want to end up dead like my brother. I don't want to end up ending my own life because of my dad's stupid behavior."

"I understand." She said and nuzzled her head in his chest.

Suddenly, the door to her room flew open and her two youngest brothers came into the room. "Get out!" She yelled at them and threw a few stuffed animals at them. Aidan immediately ran back up the stairs.

"What are you doing?" Aaron asked and blocked the pillows from hitting his face.

"Nothing now leave!" She yelled at her seven year old brother.

"I'm telling Henry!" He laughed and slammed the door behind him.

"I am in trouble." Noelle said and sat up. Her face was flushed from embarrassment and she held her head in her hands.

"Hey, you'll be fine. The worst he can do is ground you." Tyler said and rubbed her back.

"I guess you're right." Noelle smiled up at him. "And besides, you leaving me is punishment enough."

"Sorry." He said and kissed her.

Later that night, saying goodbye to Tyler was the hardest thing Noelle had ever had to do. There were a lot of tears on her part and a lot of apologies from Tyler. However, they ended on a good note.

Noelle had been grounded for the rest of the summer after a very long and awkward talk with Henry. She wasn't able to face her brothers for a few days after the incident. It was extremely awkward considering all Michael did was make inappropriate remarks. Since she wasn't allowed to leave the house, she found herself spending more and more time with Aaron and Aidan and less time with Michael with whom she used to spend more time with. Michael had become increasingly annoying. However, she still listened to him and some of his troubles in school. Michael was homosexual, so some kids weren't too fond of that and sometimes would pick a fight with him. But there were more people who liked him though. He had seemed to be friends with every girl in the school.

As the years had passed, Noelle began to see Henry as more of a parent figure. But she still loved him just as much and even looked more up to him. He was everything her parents weren't. But she wondered how he coped with it considering he didn't have any parental figures to look up to. She felt bad for him, so she'd help him with the twins as much as she could.

One morning, in late August, she began throwing up. At first, she didn't know what was wrong with her. She made assumptions she had gotten the flu. But Henry knew better. It wasn't even flu season. And it was the end of summer. "You're probably pregnant." He said.

"What? I can't be!" She exclaimed.

"It only takes a sperm and an egg and considering both of you were inexperienced, it's possible." Henry said and handed her a pregnancy test.

"This is beyond weird." She said and took the rectangular box from him. But she didn't find herself getting embarrassed. After all, it was last summer when she had woken up with blood all over her sheets and she had to get him to go get her some feminine products. "I'm not even in high school yet." She groaned.

"Just take the test. I could be wrong, you know."

"I hope you are." Noelle said and went into the bathroom. She read the directions and did what she had to do. She stepped out of the bathroom after placing the test on the counter. "Ten minutes." She said. She still didn't believe that she was pregnant. It didn't sink in that it was a possibility. What did Henry know anyway? He was a guy and didn't know how girl's bodies worked. So, she was convinced she had the flu even though she felt fine for the moment.

Ten minutes passed and she picked up the test. Two lines. She looked at the box for the key. One line was a negative, two was a positive. She dropped it on the floor and just stood there, staring at her reflection in the mirror. She studied her eyes with all of that eyeliner and eye shadow and that piercing blue of her eyes. "Noelle, are you all right?" Henry asked and carefully picked up the pregnancy test on the floor. He went to look at the box but Noelle stopped him before he could.

"You were right." She said and completely broke down and let her brother hold her on the bathroom floor.

"Wherever Tyler is, I'm going to kill him."

"Please don't." She said and gripped his shirt with her slim fingers. "It wasn't even his idea, it was mine. I don't even know why I wanted to. It was weird that I even wanted to."

"I won't." Henry said. "I'm just frustrated, that's all."

"What am I going to do?" She asked him and couldn't even make eye contact. She was ashamed to be in this situation. She was only thirteen; this couldn't be happening to her.

"Well, we'll have to discuss your options. We'll talk tomorrow, okay?"

"Thanks Henry." Noelle said. "I wish I didn't do it; I wish I didn't."

"I know," Henry said and carried his crying sister out of the bathroom. "I know."

The next day while Michael took the twins out to the park, Henry and Noelle sat down to discuss her options. She knew that she couldn't keep the baby because they could barely afford things for themselves. Noelle wanted the baby of course, but she knew that would put a strain on Henry and her other brothers. And she wanted a normal life. She was enjoying it so far and she didn't want it to end. "You can get an abortion." No, she couldn't get that.

"I can't. I don't think I could go through with that."

"But will you be able to get through your first year of high school pregnant? It will be hard. Very hard."

"I know that." She knew she'd be made fun of and people will turn on her. She wasn't stupid. She knew how the world worked. And besides, one of her friends already had a baby in June, so she'd have at least one friend through high school. Noelle couldn't believe she was even part of this whole teen pregnancy issue. She felt so stupid.

"I'm going to tell you now, you cannot keep this baby. You need to come up with something; anything. How about adoption?"

"I need to think." Noelle said and got up from the table and left the condo in which they lived in.

Noelle couldn't believe that a great majority of her friends weren't even there for her. That friend who had the baby in middle school happened to go to a different school because of all of the ridicule and mockery she received. She knew that the teachers looked at her as if she was a slut. Nobody made it easy for her. Michael had made it worse and let her walk the halls by herself where anyone could hurt her. Her pregnancy was showing and she couldn't hide it anymore. Sammy happened to start hanging out with her again. She was the only "friend" she had even though she disliked the girl.

Noelle let herself slip back into that passive, quiet girl again. Except she wasn't invisible anymore. She couldn't be. It was impossible with a bulging abdomen.

"So what are you going to do with it?" Sammy asked, referring to the baby. She had been asking her this question forever. Noelle always answered with an "I don't know" because she really didn't. She knew she was going to put it up for adoption, but she was still deciding whether she wanted an open adoption or not or maybe put the baby in foster care and then take the baby back when she can afford to take care of it. She didn't even know whether the baby was going to be a boy or a girl; she didn't want to know. It would make the decision harder for her when she would refer to it as a he or a she.

As Noelle walked the halls, she couldn't take the people laughing at her and throwing things at her and calling her a slut. She stopped in her tracks and turned around to the person who started it. Her name was Chloe. She had been making her life a living hell. And since it was Noelle's last day at the high school due to her pregnancy, she used her martial arts skills that she was still learning from the old man and fought her. People gathered around and watched the fight. Eventually, a teacher came over and broke it up. He had to literally pull the pregnant teen off of the brunette. With her strength, she pushed the teacher off of her and ran out of the school. She was surprised she could do this considering she was seven months pregnant.

Out of breath, she stopped at Go City central park and sat down on a bench and cried her eyes out. There was no way she'd be able to go back there in June when she was supposed to return. She had no one. This pregnancy was ruining her life that had barely begun. She wondered why she had sex with Tyler. She should have known that it would lead to this. But at the time, she was living for the moment not for the long term effects. She'd be a mother at age fourteen. She hated that she might be turning into her mother. She knew her mother had had Henry when she was fifteen. Noelle was a whole year younger than that. She didn't want to be like her mother. She learned to hate that woman. What was next? Would Noelle get into drugs, marry a man who abused her, pop out tons of kids and abandon them? No, she wouldn't let herself do that. She had to stop this cycle. "Noelle? Is that you?" Her thoughts came to a halt when she heard that familiar voice. She looked up at the older woman who had to be in her fifties or sixties by now.

"Mrs. Smith?" She was surprised to see her. "Shouldn't you be at work?"

"I retired." She said and sat down. "More importantly, what are you doing out of school?"

"I left early. Besides, it was my last day anyway for obvious reasons." Noelle sniffed and tried to keep the tears from falling down. "I thought high school was supposed to be fun, but instead I'm turning into my mother."

"You aren't turning into your mother, okay? What are you going to do?" Noelle knew she meant what she'd be doing about the baby.

"I really don't know. I have to put it up for adoption. But I don't know whether it'd be open or closed. I'm afraid that I'll choose terrible parents for it and then…I don't know. I'm running out of time to decide. My oldest brother is pushing me to make a decision and if I don't make one soon he's making one for me and the father of the baby ran away so I have no idea where he is. I'm just a mess. I want to be able to have the option to take the baby back when I'm ready to take care of it, like when I'm out of college." She paused. "I have no idea why I'm even telling you all of this."

"Don't worry about it." Mrs. Smith said. "You'll figure something out."

"I'm afraid I won't. I wish there was a way for me to know the baby's parents well enough to give it up. But it's too hard. Knowing my luck, I'll choose the worst parents out there and I don't want this baby to be hurt, Mrs. Smith. I really don't."

"How about I adopt the baby?" She said out of the blue.

"I can't ask you to do that." Noelle said, surprised.

"You didn't ask. I offered. I was never able to have one of my own and having someone like a grandchild will be good for me and it'll give me someone to look after instead of myself." She paused. "How about this? I take temporary custody until you are sixteen?"

"That works." Noelle said and rubbed the tears from her eyes. "Thank you so much. I don't know what I'd do without you, Mrs. Smith." Pause. "The baby's father is Tyler Jameson, remember him?"

"Oh yes, you two were great friends. And by the way, Tyler is staying with me. His father happened to pass away about a month ago."

"Really?" Noelle said happily. "Where do you live?"

"In Upperton." Noelle couldn't believe her ears. Upperton was hours away from Go City. Odds are she wouldn't see him because she wouldn't be able to get there. That, and she wasn't allowed to see him because Henry thought she'd go back out and get pregnant again. But she was already pregnant, she had argued with him. He said that it was too risky because in a few months, she'd be able to get pregnant again and if she saw him, the separation would be too hard. She felt as if her life was falling apart, just like her mother's.

A few months later, Noelle had her scheduled cesarean section that Henry forced her to have because he was afraid she'd be too small to actually have the baby naturally. She had given birth to a baby girl whom she named Maelie. She had given her Tyler's last name because she'd be living with Tyler. Reluctantly, she had given the baby up right after she held her. She didn't want to form an attachment with her because then it would just make it harder to wake up in the morning. She was indifferent about the whole situation.

Noelle had formed a thicker shell. And since the shell was thicker, her return to school didn't bother her. People tried teasing her again just like when she had been pregnant, but she would result to violence and most people would leave her alone.

One day after school, Noelle had taken a bus up to Upperton without Henry's permission. Mrs. Smith hadn't been home but Tyler was. She entered the house and the two kissed each other passionately. She saw her daughter there, Maelie, and she had held her but didn't want that connection. It would make it harder to leave Tyler if she made that mother daughter connection. That new shell that she had formed helped her with that.

Since Maelie had been sleeping in her crib, Noelle and Tyler made love in his bed. "Shit." Tyler said and sat up on the bed, facing the wall.

"What is it?" Noelle asked and pulled the blankets over her chest to cover herself up.

"What if I got you pregnant again? I didn't pull out…"

"Listen, I just had a baby two months ago. Odds are, I won't get pregnant again. Just trust me on this, all right?" Noelle said.

"If you say so." Tyler said. "But if you do, what are you going to do with the baby?" He asked her.

"It's not going to happen, Tyler. Relax." She said and massaged his shoulders.

"It might, Noelle. And I would want you to give the baby to me so it could grow up with Maelie."

"If it makes you feel better, I'll do that."

Noelle then went home and went inside her house. She noticed that her brothers weren't there. She wondered where they could be. She looked outside, to the back yard and saw that they were in the stupid tree house. Sighing, she went outside to tell Henry not to worry about her. "Henry, I'm home." She shouted up to the tree house.

"Come up here, Noelle." She heard him shout back. She hated that tree house. Even though she wasn't afraid of heights, she was afraid of that rickety old tree house. She put her hands on her hips, which had gotten slightly wider (and she didn't mind that) and sighed again.

"Come on!" The twins chorused. She couldn't argue with them, so she climbed up the rope ladder and crammed herself in there. She sat down next to Michael who acted as if she was some kind of germ.

"Where were you? In Upperton?" Michael asked. Noelle wasn't so good at lying, so Henry saw right through her. Michael laughed. "I bet she went there to go have sex again." He laughed harder. Noelle noticed her face felt warmer; probably because of the increased blood flow to her head which was probably making her cheeks pink, or maybe even red at this point.

"How could you even think to do that again?" Henry roared. An argument broke out between them. Noelle didn't even know what he was saying because she was screaming at him. Michael's constant laughter rang in her ears. She didn't even notice Aidan poking her arm in worry.

"Noelle!" He screamed. She stopped and looked at the boy who was usually very quiet.

"What is it?" Her tone had completely changed.

"Look!" Aidan pointed to the small window. Noelle felt the twins hug her tightly. Horror struck her face when she saw a brightly colored comet accelerating towards them. She held the twins close to her. The light was getting bright; too bright. It hurt her eyes. She had to close them. Screaming. Heat. Explosion. It was all going too slow for her. It was as if it was too slow to be real. She knew her adrenaline was rushing and her brain was making everything seem slower than it was. She felt herself slamming into the ground, several feet under. She felt as if she was going to go bind because of how bright this comet was. Pain soared through her body. It felt as if every bone in her body was broken, every tendon was being slowly ripped out one by one, and her muscles felt as if they were melting. Then, darkness took over.

_So, what did you think? Sorry if it was so long, I tried to make it shorter than it was. Hopefully you guys like it and you'll leave a review? There will be a part 2. It will be about after the comet hit._


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Kim Possible.

* * *

Shego looked at herself in the mirror in her new room in Go Tower. She looked at her hair; black. Her skin, a pale green. Her eyes, emerald green. She didn't feel like herself. Maybe it was due to the fact that she hadn't been called Noelle since that comet hit her. She was still surprised she wasn't dead. That comet had hit her a year ago. She had arrived at Go Tower two months ago. She was supposed to be a super hero with her green glow. Save people from being hurt, robbed, maybe even killed. It did feel good to save people. She loved the thrill of jumping from building to building and fighting the evil doers. It made her forget about who she really was or what she really was. As she looked in the mirror, she noticed her scar had disappeared across her stomach. She liked that. Her powers made it so that she healed quickly and heal things that would normally be there for life, like a scar. But she did like the scar, just a little, so that she could be reminded of Maelie.

Looking in that mirror, she thought about what had happened to her. She remembered waking up in some kind of lab in a secret organization called Global Justice. She remembered waking up in pain. She saw numerous doctors experimenting on her. She remembered the feeling of the scalpel cutting through her flesh. She learned that she was knocked out with drugs for another three months.

While she was in Global Justice, she had been isolated from her brothers. When she asked about them, she never got an answer. Instead, they would take her mind off of it and tutor her for her schooling, teach her how to fly a jet and complex aircraft, improved her martial arts, and they helped her learn how to control that plasma or fire or whatever it was. Shego had no idea what it was. She was a great fighter, though. Global Justice had created a girl with an even thicker shell. Hardly anything seemed to bother her anymore.

While she had been in the custody of Global Justice, she had given birth to another baby. This time, it was a boy whom she named Austin Jameson. She didn't know what happened to him after she told them where Tyler was. She hoped that Austin was living with Tyler. The best part with the whole situation was her brothers had no idea Austin even existed because they had been in Global Justice and isolated from each other so long.

Shego had been drugged after she had left Global Justice so that most of her stay was a blur to her. She knew that there had most likely been more experiments, but she didn't remember them. For an organization that was supposed to serve justice barely did so. Her brothers didn't seem to even think that they were experimented on. Shego guessed that she had been the only one that had woken up during a few of those experiments or her memory was better even though it was foggy. She barely even remembered having Austin.

Shego began brushing her new long black hair. No matter how much she looked at it, she still couldn't believe she didn't have her pretty blonde hair anymore. She didn't like to tie it back because then she'd forget the color of her hair. She had to get used to it. Of course, she had thought about dyeing it, but she decided not to because her roots would just look stupid and she'd have to dye her hair all of the time to cover up those dark black roots.

Shego couldn't even remember what it was like to wear normal clothes (besides pajamas). She had been forced to wear this spandex cat suit. "You'll never know when you're needed." Henry had said. For some reason, she found it difficult to respect him anymore. Maybe it was because he had turned into someone so dense. Or maybe it was because he had become so annoying, making her wear the green and black jump suit anymore. She found herself fighting with her brothers constantly. She felt alone in her own house! Well, tower. It still didn't feel like home to her.

Shego put the brush back on her dresser and studied her green eyes. She didn't like them much, but they were a pretty color. Maybe she'd learn to love them. Wanting to kill time, she began to adjust the things on her dresser. Most of them were books that the tutor had given her. She wouldn't be returning to high school because of her skin and her "secret identity."

"Shego, let's go! Aviarius has left his cage!" Henry used to be so cool and the best big brother in her opinion. Now he was Hego, the most pompous superhero known to man. Shego picked up the mask she hated so much and placed it on her face. As if this was supposed to hide her face. She felt foolish. Was this how Robin the boy wonder felt? How would anyone know, he was some made up character. She wished that she was; she felt like one.

"Coming!" She shouted as she left her room quickly. She met her brothers already in the Team Go jet. It was purple and green and blue and red, matching the colors of their individual Go Team Glows, as Hego liked to call it. Shego sat in the cockpit and took off. Hego began ranting about something Shego couldn't care less about. She didn't have any patience, well, not anymore anyway. She jerked her head towards him and told him to shut up.

"That is not how you talk to me young lady." She rolled her eyes at him and mumbled under her breath,

"I do."

"What was that?" Hego asked.

"Nothing." She said. "Just be quiet. I don't want to be responsible for your death." And with that said, Hego kept his big mouth shut for the rest of the ride. She was grateful for that.

She landed the jet at the base of Aviarius' lair. She helped the twins out of the aircraft and they were followed by Mego and Hego. "We must be sneaky." Hego whispered.

"How? The cameras already picked us up." Shego said and pointed to them.

"Of you knew there were cameras, why did you land the jet here?" Mego yelled at her. Shego shrugged.

"It was the safest place to land." She reasoned. "Unless you'd rather be dead."

"Shut up with the sarcasm." Mego yelled.

"Stop yelling." Shego said. They entered the lair and fought off the humming birds that exploded and easily defeated Aviarius. For some reason, he could easily be defeated when the five worked together. However, missions were not always that easy. In fact, on more occasions, they were literally shot at with machine guns, lasers, and various other deadly weapons such as knives and swords. On many occasions, at least one of them got hurt. It was usually one of the younger ones who suffered an injury. Shego felt as if she had to protect them because Mego and Hego failed to do so. She hated how Hego had become so neglectful. It made her lose respect for him further. How could he put the five of them in danger? How could he let eight year old boys go on suicide missions around the world? If it were up to her, the twins would be in school and she'd be in school. Even though her first high school experience was terrible, she wanted to go back. Instead, she had a tutor. The tutor wasn't that bad but she preferred to socialize with people her age. She was even beginning to miss Chloe's constant ridicules and Sammy's overeating and her controlling nature. Shego began to feel as if her freedom was slowly being taken away from her. She began to wish she was back at her old house with her parents even though they were both insane. At least she was able to do whatever she wanted whenever she wanted.

Shego found herself missing her mother even more so. She didn't think she'd be in this situation if her mother was here because they'd still be with her father in the old house and then she'd be free from that place anyway. But instead, she was stuck in Go Tower or going on missions that could potentially kill her. Hego didn't let her or Mego out of the tower because she was green and he was purple and they couldn't cover that up.

However, Shego was able to sneak out. She loved the thrill of getting caught. It made her life more interesting. She'd figure out various ways to get in and out of the tower without getting caught. And to make it even more fun, she'd have to avoid the video cameras that were hidden around the building. Hego hadn't caught her yet which meant she was safe, but she'd wish he would catch her so then it would be harder to escape Go Tower.

Shego would go to the old apartment where Haruki was. He was an old man and he was literally dying. He knew of her identity, he knew she was Noelle Gordon. She didn't hide anything from him. He was like a grandfather to her, or so she thought. She didn't know what a grandpa was supposed to be like because she never met her biological grandparents, but she assumed that Haruki was like one. He was a constant in her life that taught her most of what she knew about martial arts. So when he died, she was devastated. Shego was going to sneak out and go to his funeral service, but Hego made her go on a stupid mission. She felt bad that she didn't go, but she reasoned that funerals were pointless. People shouldn't make a big deal about them.

"Shego, we have to go on a mission to Tokyo." Hego said to her. She assumed her brothers had already been informed of the mission because they all had their masks on their faces.

"Today?" Shego whined. "Why can't superheroes in Tokyo take care of it?"

"I doubt there are any…" Hego said. "Come on, let's go." Reluctantly, she listened and piloted the jet to Tokyo while trying to keep her brothers from fighting with each other.

That mission in Tokyo probably changed Shego forever. Five bullet wounds in two minutes was a record. But she won. The Wegos weren't hurt. She had taken the bullets for them. She hated Hego. He was literally right there next to the twins when the bullets were coming. Instead of shielding the two, he stepped back and pretended not to notice! How could he even do that? Mego was no help; once the bullets were heard, he shrank to the size of a mouse and hid in a crack in the wall. So, Shego had sprinted across the room and began fighting off the people with the machine guns. Actually, she had been very lucky that she wasn't either dead, in a coma, or was shot more than five times. Yet again, Hego took most of the credit when the reporters came. "Thank you for saving us." The twins said at the same time.

"No problem." Shego said and hugged the two. Thanks to her powers, she was already as good as new but it didn't make bullets going through her flesh any less painful.

"…so then I jumped in front of Mego, Shego, and Wego and saved them from an unfortunate death…" Shego overheard Hego say. She clenched her fists in anger. She had been doing that a lot lately.

"It's okay, Shego."

"We know that it was you." The other twin finished. Shego had to take a deep breath and forget about what Hego was saying.

Shego began to hate being a hero. Why? Because she was never credited for it or paid for it. She hated that she had to risk her life with nothing in return. She hated that she was forced to stay in Go Tower and she had to sneak out of her own home. Funny, she wouldn't really use the word home to describe Go Tower where she had been living for over a year now. To her, it was just Go Tower in Go City where Team Go was housed and worked when they weren't on missions. Hego, Mego, Shego, Wego; too many go's in her opinion. Why couldn't she just be Noelle again? She wished that her brothers would slip and say her name. She wanted to hear her name being said. She wanted to use her brother's real names without Hego exploding in her face about identity this and identity that even though they were in private.

Private. They weren't really in private. That stupid giant computer monitor in the main area could be hacked into by any villain. Hego was an idiot. He couldn't see how that was dangerous. She wouldn't tell him though because one day she'd want to watch him fail because of it.

Shego continued to sneak out. One night, she sneaked out of her window. Too easy, but she just had to get out of the tower for a few hours. She let the cold night air hit her face. She hated the cold. She remembered back when she was little and free when she loved the cold because it made her feel alive. The cold just made her feel dead now. She felt tears fall down her face as she thought about her old life and the people in it. Could she ever just be normal?

Shego heard a car slow down behind her. She put her hood up further to conceal herself from the public eye. She heard footsteps approach her. She acted casual. She felt a hand touch her shoulder lightly. "Noelle." She heard a deep voice. She turned around and made out the facial features by squinting her eyes. Those lips; those chocolate brown eyes.

"Tyler?" She whispered into the cold night air. She followed him to his car and got in it.

"Why are you crying, Noelle?" She loved that he used her name. She loved how it sounded and how he said it. She never thought that she'd love hearing her own name. Then it occurred to her; how did he know it was her? The green skin and eyes, the black hair. How could he even tell it was her?

"How do you know it's me?" She asked him as he pulled her hood down, exposing her black hair.

"Because I can tell." He smiled at her.

"How?" She cried. "How can you tell?"

"It would take a lot for me not to notice the shape of your eyes, facial features, and body. And it would be odd for me not to recognize you after all we've been through, right?" Tyler said.

"I guess so." Shego said. "But no one else has even guessed."

"That's because nobody knows you as well as I do." Tyler smiled at her. "Now back to my question; why are you so sad?"

"Because I hate who I am. I'm just some stupid super hero who risks her life and doesn't get paid for it or even recognized for it. My older brothers have changed so much and my younger brothers don't even seem to care." She felt her breathing rate increase because of stress? Sadness? Anger? Maybe a mix of both. Shego couldn't even tell what she felt most of the time. But here she was, crying in her boyfriend's car; friend's car? She didn't even know what to call him anymore.

"Whatever you say, just don't hate yourself." Tyler said calmly.

"How can I not? Just look at me!" She emphasized this by rolling up her sleeves and showed her green tinted skin.

"There's absolutely nothing to hate about you, Noelle."

"I haven't even heard my name for like two years until tonight. I've just been called Shego. And I hate it." She cried harder. Before she knew it, he began to kiss her full on the lips. The two began feeling each other up their shirts, down their pants, and ended up in the back seat; one thing led to another and Shego found herself having sex-no-making love with Tyler. She felt herself needing this more than wanting it. She longed to have human contact with people other than villains, her brothers, or the various reporters.

Shego put her clothes on quickly, just in case a policeman thought the car looked suspicious just sitting there for at least an hour or so running. "Why don't you come and stay with me, Noelle? With me, Austin, and Maelie?"

"I would but…I don't think I can. Hego-er-Henry," She felt weird saying that name, "He still has custody of me and no matter what, he'll get me to come back. When I'm eighteen I'm getting out of there." Shego said. "Sorry. I would really want to, but I just can't right now. I'm still figuring things out for myself. I have my high school diploma and I got it for nothing. Apparently I'm not allowed to go to college."

"You will eventually. What would you want to do when you go to college? Like, what career would you choose?" He asked her. She was glad that he was interested in her. It made her feel better about herself. Someone was actually listening to her!

"I really have no idea. Nothing to do with crime fighting, that's for sure." She said.

"I think you should go for teaching." Tyler said.

"Why do you say that?" Shego laughed. "I hate kids."

"No one said you'd work with kids. Maybe high school. I don't know, I think you'd be good at it. And I know you don't really hate kids. You were great with Aaron and Aidan when they were little. Just think about it." Tyler said and pulled up to the closest block that would lead to Go Tower.

"All right." She said and got out of the car. The two stared at each other for a while before she spoke. "Will I see you again?"

"Probably." Tyler said and winked at her. Shego smiled at him, leaned down for a kiss, and shut the door to the car.

She began walking back to that tower she could easily see in the distance. She hated how obvious it was. People knew where they lived, and that meant the villains did too. Sometimes at night, she'd be unable to sleep because of the thought that any villain could come in and destroy the tower whether it be bombs or they just simply break into their computer system and destroy everything. Shego was glad that she didn't really have anything special except one family photo that she kept of when she was six, right before they moved to the United States. "What are you doing out here? The streets are dangerous at night, Shego." Of course, it was Mego. But how did he get out of the tower? Did he sneak out too?

"How come you're out of the tower?" She asked him.

"We were called for a mission."

"Oh, well did you win?" She asked him.

"No, we didn't." Mego said. "It's all your fault someone got away with one hundred thousand dollars and killing a girl. You should have been at home. Nice going." She felt her heart drop into her stomach. Someone was dead because of her. She hated that feeling. "You shouldn't have sneaked out. I saw you get out of that car. There was a black guy in there, wasn't there? I have a feeling, just a small feeling, it was Tyler. Tell me, did you enjoy having dirty sex with him again? Did you remember to use protection?" Silence, tears fell down from her face. She was glad that she had trained herself not to blubber when she cried because that would be very unattractive and just humiliate her further. "I bet you're pregnant. Actually, I hope you're pregnant." He grabbed the sleeve of her jacket. "Come on." He dragged her back towards the tower. As he did, she suppressed her anger just like she did when she was a child. There was no one to talk to about it. She couldn't express her anger in any way. If she did, she'd get in trouble. And now that she was caught, she would be in so much trouble for sneaking out.

"How come you're so mean to me? What happened to you?" She asked her brother.

"I'm not mean to you." He said. "I'm just making sure you stay realistic even if I have to shove it down your throat. Would I ever lie to you?" She remembered someone telling her _would I ever lie to you?_ Deep in her memory, those words echoed. Eventually, she heard those words in her head being said by her mother. Her eyes went wide. Her mother used to say that to her and lying was her specialty, even though she had convinced Shego at a young age that she told the truth. Shego let the anger come out and she used it as strength. She pulled away from her brother.

"Don't you dare touch me, Mego." She snarled.

"What has gotten into you?" He questioned her. "Come on, we're going home!"

"No!" She yelled. "I'm not going back!" She dodged his grip.

"Oh yes you are, young lady!" It was Hego. He grabbed her and retrained her. She struggled to get out, but Hego made sure that he had a good grip on her. Back at the tower, she got a good scolding. Hego said that she was grounded, but she shrugged it off. How could she be grounded if she was bound to the tower already?

Shego hated Mego the most out of all of her brothers. She wiped her mouth and looked into the mirror. She knew she was pregnant. She didn't want Mego to be right. She wanted to go for an abortion, but she could not find herself able to get rid of Tyler's baby. She wouldn't say the baby was hers because she knew that Tyler would end up taking care of another baby. Her brothers only knew of Maelie, not Austin. And she didn't want them to know about this baby.

She figured she'd be safe until she started to show. Once she started showing, she'd have to run away; which would be unsuccessful. Or, she could take that opportunity her tutor had given her to go to a school for kids who were advanced and take a few college courses and get some college credit. That was what she'd do. It would start in three months, so the timing was good. And it would end by the time the baby should be born.

She ran into her room and found the pamphlet. She had to convince Hego to let her go there. She rushed into the main room where Hego sat by the phone and the giant monitor, just waiting for something to happen. "Hego?" She started. "Can I talk to you?" She made herself look innocent. She was still good at that.

"Sure," He smiled at her. "What is it?" He gestured for her to sit down. Of course, she had the green chair and could only sit in the green one, not one of the red ones or the purple or the blue, but green. Funny, that color was growing on her.

"Well, I was just wondering if I could go to this school? My tutor left this for me after I got my diploma. She said I have potential." She handed him the pamphlet.

"What is it?" Hego asked.

"It's just a school for smart kids and I can get college credit for the classes. I'd really like to go. And it won't cost you a penny." She said to him. She had received a full scholarship to go and the school was still waiting to hear back from her.

"I don't really think you need college. Besides, you're a superhero. You need to be here for the city and possibly the world."

"But Hego, I really want to go. I'll only be gone for like five months. I think you guys can handle anything without me. I promise right when the school gets out, I'll come right back and pick up where I left off. I just don't think I should waste the opportunity. You remember what that lady at Global Justice said? She said our powers might wear off over time. I just want something to fall back on if that happens."

"You make a good point, but I don't know Shego…" Hego said and put the pamphlet on the table.

"Please? I mean, think about it; if I take the time off now, I won't have to in the future. And I won't have to worry about the future either. Don't you want me to be kind of stable in life just in case we-hopefully not- lose our powers?" She looked up at him with her beautiful green eyes. She could see him breaking. He opened his mouth, closed it, and opened it again.

"You do make a valid point. You can go." Hego said. Shego acted as if she was happy. "But no funny business, you hear me? You report back to me every Friday afternoon about how things are going, okay?"

"Fine with me." She said. She faked her happiness and actually hugged him. "Thank you so much!" She was pleased with her acting skills. She began to wonder if she should have been in drama club while she had the chance. Maybe she'd join it in the new school? It was a thought. "What college classes do you think you're going to take?" Hego asked her and he pulled her onto his lap as if she was a child.

"I was thinking biology, chemistry, French, English, and child development."

"Why child development?" Hego asked her. Shego shrugged.

"I don't know. It's different." She said.

"Why two science classes?"

"I honestly don't really know. But it would look good when-I mean if- I apply to colleges later in life." Shego said.

Shego was going to leave for this school which was located in Middleton which was a good four to five hours away. She had already packed her belongings and sneaked in some old clothes she had worn for her first pregnancy because she knew that she'd need them. Shego lifted her shirt up and looked in the mirror. She was starting to show the baby bump. Luckily, it wasn't too noticeable when she wore her clothes. But she examined it in the mirror. She didn't really know why she was doing it, she just was. She pulled her shirt down and just looked at her face in the mirror, still shocked to see the black hair, green eyes, and mint green skin. "Shego?" She heard one of the Wegos speak. It was Aidan.

"How long have you been standing there?" She silently swore at herself in her head. She had forgotten to lock the door. He stepped inside the room.

"Are you pregnant?" He whispered and she shut the door so that no one else can here. "You are pregnant. Is that why you're going away?" Of course he was the smarter twin. She didn't particularly like to compare them, but Aidan did receive the logic out of the two.

"You caught me. You're the only one who noticed, you know that?" She said and he hugged her. She hugged him back and then lifted him up onto her bed. "Promise me you won't tell anyone, not even Aaron." Shego specified. "If you do, I don't know what will happen to me, okay?"

"But Hego needs to know." He persisted.

"No, he doesn't."

"But I can't lie."

"What he doesn't know won't hurt him. Just don't say a word, got it? Because if you don't say anything, then you won't be lying, right?" She tried.

"I guess you have a point…" He said to her. "How are babies made?" He randomly asked her.

"Umm, ask me when I get back from school, okay?"

"Well, then I'll just Google it."

"Oh, no you won't!" She said. "I'll gladly tell you when I get back, I promise. Just don't Google it."

"Okay Shego." He smiled and ran off. Shego wished she could be that carefree again. But that was in the past. Now, she had to worry about the future and make sure Hego and Mego didn't find out about her pregnancy.

Shego had been attending the school for about a month. She was surprised that she actually fit in and she was glad people didn't recognize her as Shego. Instead, they used her real name of Noelle Gordon. She had dyed her hair blonde. It was annoying to keep up with, but everyone believed that she was a natural blonde. She had to use some kind of spray tan in order to conceal her green skin. She kept her eyes green, though. She felt like she didn't need to cover her eyes. She was surprised that the people here didn't mind that she was pregnant. They either just shrugged it off or acknowledged it, but not in a mean way, but more of a curious way.

She had been receiving great grades, mostly As and Bs. She had been a good girl and reported back to Hego every Friday like she had promised. To Hego, she was being the perfect, successful student who went to bed at ten o'clock and studied hard to achieve the grades she was getting.

But that wasn't the case. Sure, she was passing her classes with ease, but she wasn't the good girl he thought she was. Instead, she had been having sex. She wasn't afraid to get pregnant because she already was and that didn't bother her.

She loved the feeling of having sex with one boy in particular. For some reason, it made her feel kind of loved, but not quite. But she felt that she was needed for something, so she was glad for that. There was one person in particular that she had sex with. His name was Dylan O'Neil. He was a nice guy to her. She didn't get the same feelings she got when she was with Tyler, but Dylan was good enough to satisfy her increasing sexual desires. "Touch me." She said to him one afternoon. He brought her over into the back of the school in a nook. They were hidden behind some bushes and the brick wall of the school.

"You're so beautiful, you know that?" Dylan smiled at her and felt her abdomen which carried her baby.

"You don't mind that I'm pregnant?" Shego smiled at him seductively. She pressed her pelvis into his crotch and rubbed against it.

"As I told you before, I don't mind." He took his shirt off and helped her slip her dress off of her. "Noelle, you are the prettiest girl I have ever met." Shego responded by putting her hand down in his pants where she felt that he definitely had an erection.

"And I'm glad." She said and began to go down on him. Just before he was about to come, she stopped and laughed a little at his frustration.

"Oh, Noelle. You think that's funny?" Dylan said and before she knew it, the two of them were on the ground having sex. It didn't mean much to her and she hoped Dylan didn't really think she loved him because she didn't. She was merely using him to satisfy her needs. She hoped that it was the same for him and it probably was. They only met for sexual pleasure. She didn't even know what they were considered. Friends with benefits? Nah, they weren't really friends. Sex buddies worked in her mind. So, she left it as that. Sex buddies sounded crude, but satisfactory.

Shego eventually had her baby a few weeks before school ended. She named her Kiara Jameson. She was able to get in contact with Tyler and he was there this time when the baby was born. She held Kiara in her arms and Tyler had entered the room with Maelie and Austin. She hadn't seen the two of them since they were practically newborns, so this was new to her.

Maelie had to have been two years old by now. Her skin color was a mix, but it was a dark tan and so was Austin's. Maelie had a lighter shade of blonde hair. It was straight and silky. Austin's was like Tyler's; dark brown and nappy. "Why did you bring them?" Shego asked Tyler who took Kiara from her arms.

"Sorry, I couldn't get a sitter." He apologized. "I know they can't get attached to you. But they know that you're their mother. At least I think. I told them who you are before we came in." Tyler looked down at Kiara. "She's beautiful."

"She has your eyes." Shego said, forgetting about her other problems.

"Am I taking her?" Tyler asked.

"If you don't mind. Hego-er-Henry can't know about this. And I don't think raising a baby while I go on death missions is the best thing for her."

"I'll take her. I'll figure stuff out financially, but it could work."

"When I turn eighteen, I'm coming to live with you."

"I'll be waiting." Tyler smiled at her. "Then we'll be one happy family."

"You bet. And I don't think we're responsible enough to live under the same roof yet. I mean, we have three kids before we're even adults. This is ridiculous."

"I know it is, but I love them."

"I know, Tyler."

"I'll see you later, Noelle."

When Shego had returned to Go tower, she had dyed her hair back to black and took off that terrible spray tan. She had to go back to being Shego instead of Noelle. It was nice to go back and be Noelle again, but Shego was needed according to her brother. She went back to fighting crime and all of that. She didn't realize how much she had hated it. But it was funny how she didn't miss the sex. She didn't need it or even want it anymore. But sooner than later, she felt more confined to the tower than ever. She felt claustrophobic. She had to get out of it.

Shego escaped through one of her secret routes through Go tower. She ran as fast as she could. She liked the night air on her face. She took a deep breath and began walking. She felt she needed the exercise anyway. She didn't know where she was going though. She didn't really want to go anywhere. She just wanted to get out of the tower.

"Hey, you." Someone said to her. It sounded like a male. It was dark and she couldn't make out who it was.

"Me?" Was all she could say.

"Yeah, you." He pulled her into the dark alley, deep into it. "You remember me sweet, dear Noelle?" The man spat and slammed her against the brick wall. She winced. She looked up at him and noticed who it was. Fear took over and she felt her heart racing. Her fighting instincts weren't kicking in. She was frozen.

"Daddy…" She trailed. Why had she called him that? He didn't deserve that title. "What are you doing here?"

"You mean what I'm doing out of the prison you put me in? That's for me to know. It's none of your business."

"How do you even know I'm Noelle?" She trembled. If he wasn't holding her up against the wall, she'd probably be on the ground because she felt her knees give out.

"I will always notice my own daughter. I may not have been father of the year, but I know who you are." He hissed at her.

"What do you want with me? Can't you just leave me alone?" She pleaded. She didn't even know what to say to him. His eyes only read anger all over and his hands were going to leave a nasty bruise. Good thing she healed quickly or else she'd be pretty sore in the morning.

"Remember back in the court house when I said I'd get you back? Well, I'm going to fuck you so hard. It's the only way we'd be even. You lock me up, I fuck you and then I'll leave you alone for good. If you resist, I'll find you again and I'll hunt you down until I get what I want you little piece of shit." Her father said and kicked her in the ribs. Shego contemplated her options; she could either beat him up and run for it or let him have his way with her. She didn't want him to hunt her down for the rest of her life. And she couldn't fight back with the immense amount of fear she was feeling. So, she relived that horrible experience from six years ago.

He left. She managed to pick herself up and walk back to Go tower. She had forgotten how frightening her father was. She didn't care that she just walked right into Go tower where Hego found her walking in after midnight. She was scared and shaken. She hated that feeling. She wished she could just be angry. That would make it easier.

"Shego, where the hell have you been?" Hego roared. She stared at him and didn't utter a word. Had she lost her voice? Her father had probably stolen that too.

"You're so gonna get it!" Mego laughed. The twins just hid in the corner, but they were still noticeable. They wanted to know what was going on too.

"He came back…" Shego whispered.

"Who?" Hego asked.

"Dad…he's back. And he…he…did _that_ to me again."

"Oh no…Shego. Did he really?"

"I bet she's faking it." Mego snapped. "She just wants attention. We all know Dad's in jail and there weren't any reports of him getting out of it. And how would he even notice you now, Shego? You don't really look like yourself."

"He does have a point." Hego said. "Shego, don't lie like this."

"Lie? Why the hell would I lie about something like this?" Her voice was getting louder, but the tears came down harder. How could he not believe her? She hated Mego and she hated Hego.

"There's no way dad would even recognize you. Stop lying. You just snuck out and want out of a punishment."

"First of all it's sneaked. And yes, I did sneak out tonight. But he fucking raped me again and all you can do is say I'm lying! I'll prove it to you! He left some pretty bad bruises on me." She lifted up the sleeves of her shirt and was surprised that there weren't any bruises. It was her powers; they had healed her fast. The bruises were no longer there. Tears leaked from her eyes.

"I should have known." Hego said. "Even if he was on the loose, you'd be able to beat him anyway. You'd probably burn him with your plasma."

"She was just trying to get attention!" Mego exclaimed. "You just want everyone to focus on you, Shego. And when no one was focusing on you, you sneak out and make up some fucked up story. There is something wrong with you."

"I am not making it up! Why would I lie?" Shego yelled at her brothers.

"Shego, just stop this nonsense." Hego sighed.

"I'm not joking here! I wouldn't kid around like that. I'm not that bad."

"Just stop it, Shego and go to bed. You too, Mego, Wego." The boys retreated from the room, leaving Shego there alone. She felt the anger build up, but she suppressed it. She didn't know why she did. She could have expressed her anger right then and there in private. She wanted to scream, but she didn't. She felt dirty. She had to get out of the tower. But not that night because she was tired.

She went up to her room and took a shower in her private bathroom. She scrubbed every part of her body as hard as she could until her skin felt raw. She then put her pajamas on and crawled into bed. She cried herself to sleep and imagined that someone out there cared about her wellbeing. Why wouldn't Hego believe her this time? Maybe it was because he caught his father in the act last time. But if she told him back then would he believe her? Probably, because he had been level headed and knew she couldn't defend herself. But the fact that she could cause third degree burns and was the best martial artist that they knew of made her rape story unbelievable. She hated herself more than ever.

The next morning, she had sneaked out. She had never gone out during the day, but she didn't care about what time of day it was. All she knew was she had to get the morning after pill just in case. She did not want to even risk carrying her father's child.

Shego walked into the drug store. She stared at the morning after pill. She didn't feel anything looking at it. She felt numb. She reached out to grab it, but then stopped herself. Could she really be seen buying something like this? No, it was too embarrassing. She would look like a slut and she didn't need people going around saying Shego from Team Go was a slut and Hego would punish her. So, she considered her second option. She quickly grabbed the box and put it in her purse and rushed out of the store. She felt a funny feeling after she just stole something. She felt alive. She felt as if she could steal something else. But she didn't. She just took the morning after pill.

She liked that adrenaline rush. She missed it. She hadn't had one like this in quite some time. Crime fighting was getting old and she didn't get a good feeling from it anymore. She wondered why she didn't because at first it made her forget about who she was and why she was put on this earth. Now, she didn't get that feeling. But from stealing something that simple made her feel good; as if society owed it to her after her efforts. It was fun though and she didn't really want to admit that to herself. Or did she? What she just did was against what Hego stood for. She smiled to herself and realized that this was how she'd get back at him for not believing her. And who knows? Maybe she'd even get back at Mego while she was at it.

That night, she sneaked out of her room yet again but she had plans. She wanted to maybe steal something again. She didn't know what so she was at a loss. She wanted some danger though because she knew she couldn't steal anything that night. So, maybe some freak who wanted to have his way with her would get her going. As she walked through downtown Go City, she thought about stealing something big, but she knew she'd have to build up to it and learn how to steal properly. She doubted, though, that she'd ever steal anything big. She'd always be a superhero and nothing would change that. Superhero. She laughed to herself, thinking that she was insane for calling herself one of those from a comic book. "Hey, you're Shego from Team Go. What are you doing down here?" A teenager asked her, someone around her age. She hadn't bothered to put on a disguise or hide herself. She just wore normal clothes instead of her cat suit. She scanned him with her eyes. From what she could tell from the streetlights, he was a dirty blond hazel eyed guy, probably seventeen or eighteen.

"Don't worry, I'm not after your pot." She said. He smelled like it and he had probably just put one out to hide it from her. She looked over his baggy jeans and t shirt and saw the bag sticking out from his pocket. He wasn't too discrete about it.

"Why not?" He asked her. "I thought you stood for what was good."

"Not tonight." Shego said.

"What are you doing out here?" She wondered why he wasn't afraid of her. He probably was but he was just hiding it to seem like a tough guy.

"Walking. What else does it look like?" She snapped at him.

"You look kinda bummed actually. What's eatin' you?"

"Nothing that I'd share with you. What's your name?"

"Reese."

"Like the peanut butter cup." Shego smirked.

"Funny." He said in a deadpanned tone. "I knew you were different from your brothers, you know."

"How so?"

"You just have that kind of vibe; like that tough girl type. Your brothers look like they're soft. You aren't. Why do you stick around?"

"They're my brothers. And even though I'm a heroine, Hego has custody of me if you didn't already know that. It is kind of obvious." Shego said to him. She then remembered what she was wearing that made her look tough; black skinny jeans with a tight white shirt with a black design on it with the black lipstick and black nails with the black eye liner. She wore a lot of that color.

"You ever smoke pot?" Reese asked her.

"Of course not." Shego said. He smirked at her.

"Would you be willing to try?" Reese took out a joint and handed it to her. She took it. Would she want to try? She figured it couldn't hurt to. And if Hego found out he'd be pissed, so she accepted.

"Why not? I have nothing better to do right now." She said.

"Good, follow me." Reese said and led her into the alleyway, deep into it. She didn't even know it existed. As they turned the corners, they came across a small shack. Before he opened the door, he said, "You better not tell anyone. If you do…"

"What happens if I do?" She smirked at him because he knew that she could kick his ass any day.

"Just promise you won't tell."

"I won't. You're not doing anything wrong besides drugs which is your choice." She followed him into the shack. There were three other people there two guys and a girl. The oldest was probably twenty, she assumed, and he was a black guy with good fashion sense. She approved of him. But she didn't like how he was snorting up that cocaine. Cocaine was probably the drug she hated the most because it ruined her mother. Anyway, there was another black guy but younger, maybe sixteen and there was a girl, white, with dark brown hair and eyes.

"Reese, what the fuck is she doing here?" Said one of the guys and he stood up as if he was going to attack him.

"Whoa whoa, calm down, Damien. She's cool."

"I promised I wouldn't tell anyone." Shego said. "And I won't. Like I told Reese, it's not like you're hurting anyone."

"Well, okay she can stay but if she squeals, you're dead Reese. D-E-A-D. Dead." Damien sat back down and went back to his cocaine.

"Shego from Team Go about to do some drugs." The other boy laughed. "Never thought I'd see the day. But I knew you would because you're cool unlike those brothers of yours."

"I'm assuming you've had a run in with them because you all seem to keep mentioning them." Shego sat down next to Reese on the couch around the small coffee table that was filled with cans of beer and alcohol and bags of drugs.

"Yeah we did about a year ago." He said. "I'm Jason by the way." She nodded, acknowledging him. "And that's Sammy." No, that couldn't be, could it? Sammy from her childhood? No, she wouldn't do drugs and there was no way she could become a size two. But it was her but she didn't look too good.

"Hey." Sammy said. It sounded like her.

Shego began to smoke pot and it made her feel good. She began laughing with the bunch and she became a regular there over time. She didn't just smoke pot though. She started to shoot a small amount of heroin a couple of times a month.

"You've got to pay me back for all the drugs I gave you. It can't be all for free. I want money now or you don't get any." Reese said to her. She didn't have any money to her name that she even knew of. She doubted that she had a bank account. She didn't receive any money, so odds are she didn't have any.

"I don't have any." She said.

"You've got to pay up." Damien spoke up from his couch. "If not, we've got to kick you out."

"How about this," Shego said thinking on her feet. "I'll have sex with you, Reese for payment. Does that work?" She asked him. Why had she said that? She didn't really know. But sex was just sex and she had finally gotten her hands on birth control and with the amount of weight she lost between the past few months, she doubted that she could get pregnant. Having sex would be good for her, she figured. And besides, she needed that heroin. She had a craving for it that night.

"Deal." Reese said. "And we didn't think you'd be open to sex, but we have it a lot here, you know. I just didn't want to go overboard. And I wanted to make sure I could trust you."

"Well, I proved myself." Shego said. And now, she was craving sex. She needed to feel close to someone, so she willingly grinded up against him and had sex on the cold floor. It was a change of environment, but she didn't really care as long as she got it. She noticed Sammy and Jason going at it and Damien was supposedly in a motel that evening. In fact, she realized she barely saw him anymore. Reese said he had moved on to a new drug group that was around his age. It made sense because he'd get in trouble if he was caught with all of these under aged kids.

Back in Go Tower, she wasn't noticed. She was becoming even more invisible. They hadn't even picked up on her weight loss and her increasing absence from the tower and missions. This angered her. She had left a joint on the counter and Hego didn't think much of it. She doubted he even knew what it was. When she would ask him if anything was different about her, she wanted him to say the new bags under her eyes from lack of sleep, her decreased breast and waist and well, just weight loss in general. Instead, he said he said nothing and left it at that.

On top of that, if Shego did something good on a mission, she wasn't credited for it in the reports and articles. Instead, Hego was. And when Hego would apologize about it, Mego would whine that he wasn't the center of attention and then everyone would be focused on him. Shego wanted to scream.

So, on one mission Shego lost it. The anger and frustration built up and she needed to let it all out. She began to beat up the villain that they were facing pretty badly and his henchmen. She made bones break and crack and she made them bleed and get at least first degree burn, mostly second degree. She was pulled off the villain from Hego. "What are you doing?" He yelled at her.

"Oh, so now you fucking notice me!" She yelled at him and spat in his face. He let her go and wiped off the spit.

"Shego, what has gotten into you?"

"Nothing." Shego said. "Absolutely nothing." She said and stormed off from the scene. When she got out, obviously the reporters were more important because none of her brothers went out to see if she was okay. She ran as fast as she could to downtown Go City, to that shack that she hung out in.

"You're here early." Sammy said.

"Where's that peanut butter cup?" She said angrily.

"Not here. And neither is Jason. Just me." Shego sat down next to Sammy whom she normally avoided. They avoided each other.

"Give me some heroin." Shego said.

"We're out. The dealer was out of town this week. I've got ecstasy."

"Good enough." Shego said. She popped the pills in her mouth and swallowed. She usually didn't do ecstasy when the boys were missing because she'd want sex but right now it didn't matter. She needed something.

"Is that blood on your hand?" Sammy asked her.

"Huh? Oh yeah. Went on a mission. Got bloody, but it isn't my blood though." Shego said.

"I don't have any friends besides you and Reese and Jason, you know." Sammy began to babble. "I used to be fat. Hard to believe, but I was. And when I was fat, I had only one friend. Her name was Noelle Gordon. I hate how controlling I was with her. I think I made her nervous and now that I look back, she was completely disgusted with me. She hated to eat with me at lunch in elementary school, but she did anyway."

"What happened to her?" Shego asked, playing dumb. She didn't want Sammy to know that was her.

"She disappeared. She probably moved or something." Sammy shrugged.

"Fuck." Shego said, changing the conversation with that simple word.

"What is it?" Sammy asked.

"I shouldn't have taken that." She said, referring to the drug. "In about a minute I'm just going to want sex." She began laughing.

"Funny thing is, so am I. I usually take it when I'm alone and just finger myself hard."

"Shit, what are we going to do?" Shego asked almost panicking. "I'm feeling ultra horny." She laughed harder and found herself straddling Sammy.

"I think we'll have to fuck each other." Sammy said and began to take her shirt off.

"How is that even possible?" Shego said and took off her cat suit. "And I don't even like girls that way."

"You don't have to. It's just sex. I don't even like Jason or Reese that way, but I fuck 'em anyway."

"You've got a point." Shego said and got off of Sammy. "I never did this with a girl before so I'll probably be terrible."

"I'll go first. It's pretty easy."

"Why are we even discussing sex?" Shego asked. "I didn't even notice I had my hand on your boob." She laughed and let Sammy go on top of her as she laid down on the couch. She felt her underwear and bra slide off so that she was completely naked like Sammy. Sammy kissed her neck and continued down her chest to her pubic area. Her tongue began to explore her female parts. All Shego could do was shutter and thrust her hips forward and close her eyes. She felt Sammy finger her too and before she knew it, she was doing the same to Sammy. When they finished, they were at opposite ends of the couch and dressed themselves. "I guess I can honestly say I've had a lesbian experience." She said and took out a joint and began smoking it along with Sammy.

"Everyone needs at least one and not with a lesbian. I made that mistake a few months ago. She thinks we might have a future together." Sammy laughed. "Are you the only one out of your team that even has a sex life?"

"Probably. The twins are too young, Mego's gay but he's the closeted type now so he's obviously not getting , any and I think defeating villains is Hego's sex." Shego laughed at what she had just said. It was too true.

"Hey girls." Reese said as he and Jason walked through the door. "Listen, Shego I don't think it's fair that you get drugs for sex. So I think you've got to come up with the money."

"Oh, come on Reese. You know you love it." She smiled at him.

"As true as that may be, you enjoy it too much to be a payment."

"True."

"So go out there and don't come back until you get the money."

"How am I supposed to even get any money?" Shego asked.

"I don't know. You can figure it out." She had sex with him and Jason first though. She needed it. Sammy wasn't enough.

Shego walked the streets of Go City, wondering what she could do for money. It was getting dark out and the prostitutes were coming out. Would she go that low and have sex with fifty year old men for money? She considered it for a moment, but decided that she wouldn't. That was too risky. Maybe she could steal it? That was a good idea. She had the skills that she needed to steal. She wasn't stupid so she wouldn't get caught.

So, she sneaked into some banks and easily dodged the video cameras and she stole sack loads of money. She loved the thrill and it was easy. She had money for the drugs and now she knew that she was good at stealing. How come it was so easy for her? Probably because she dealt with criminals who were stupid and got caught.

Shego continued to steal, have sex, and do drugs and kind of wished that Hego would catch her and ask her what was wrong. But she was too good, so she didn't get caught. She continued her behavior and wound up getting caught-finally- when she was at the museum in the middle of stealing priceless gems. (She didn't know why they called them priceless when they so had a price because if they were priceless, then why were they in a museum?)

"Stop right there! Sister?" Hego said in disbelief. "What are you doing?"

"What does it look like?" She said, not even fazed by them.

"It looks like you're stealing, that's what!" Hego yelled.

"Thank you captain obvious." Mego said. "But I doubt she's stealing for real. I think she's just fishing for attention. She wants us to focus on her. It's a poor me act. I can tell."

"Shego, what is wrong with you?" Hego said angrily, completely ignoring Mego. "And how did you get in that position so fast?" He wasn't angry anymore. In fact, he actually laughed. "Oh, you're inspecting the crime scene! I understand." He said.

"What are you talking about? I am not investigating any crime scene!" Shego yelled at him and threw the jewels across the room.

"I could have sworn you were wearing your mask when we left moments ago." He scratched his chin.

"Wait, you think I was with you when you guys left tonight?" Shego burst out in laughter. It wasn't a happy laugh like she usually laughed, it was more of a cackle but not horrific. It was a laugh that expressed her frustration and anger and sadness towards her brothers.

"You were…" Hego said. "I was sure of it!"

"No I wasn't!" Shego finally screamed. "I so was not!"

"Then where the hell were you?" Hego yelled at her. She could see his anger came back and he could be scary sometimes when he got angry like a few months ago when she had to hide out in her room to avoid his anger. However, this time she wasn't afraid of him. Instead, she took three steps closer to him and held her head up with confidence.

"Then where were you?" He growled.

"Short or long story?" She asked him, in a low voice.

"Short. I don't have time to waste on you right now." Hego lowered his eyebrows. Shego could tell he was going to either pounce on her or slap her. She noticed his hand twitching. For some reason, she wasn't afraid to take a punch this time. She didn't know why she wasn't afraid of him even though he was triple her size. She realized that she had secretly feared him and that was why she had been passive aggressive with him; she'd get angry at him and go and do things that he wouldn't approve of. But now, she thought it was almost funny that he was getting worked up and angry. She wanted him to be angry at her for doing the things she'd been doing; the sex, the drugs, and the stealing. She wanted him to be afraid for her safety and angry at the boys she had slept with and the drugs she received.

"Tonight, I went out and smoked some pot and shot up some heroin." She could see his fist trembling. Maybe he was going to care about her health. "Then, I had sex with two boys." She smirked at Hego, seeing he was getting beyond angry. "And then I decided I'd rob the museum again. But this time I waited for you to get here. I was getting bored robbing all of those banks and stuff without any action. And the sick part is, I've been doing all of this stuff for months now."

"Fuck you Shego." Hego said and slapped her across the face. She didn't flinch. She stood there and took it. "I can't believe you'd do that!" There it was; maybe the caring big brother she had long ago was still in there. She was actually hoping for a lecture, maybe even a hug and an I'm sorry for not noticing you. "Why would you want to give Team Go a bad name?" Her face fell. She should have known all he had cared about was Team Go. He didn't even care about her. He didn't even tell her to stop having sex and to stop doing drugs.

"You have got to be kidding me." Shego said. "I tell you that I've been having sex, doing drugs, and stealing from banks and that is all you care about? Team Go's fucking name?" She yelled at him. She had gotten in his face and clenched her fists at her sides. "I should have known you didn't give a fuck about me when you said you assumed I was with you tonight. How long has it been? I bet you haven't even noticed my absence on some missions!"

"Shego listen to me…"

"I will not listen to you, Hego! Do I make myself clear? I want nothing to do with you anymore!" Mego laughed. Why was he even laughing at a time like this? Was he really that full of himself? He had got what he wanted; everyone including her turned towards him. Shego had enough with him too. "And you!" She pointed at him. "You have turned into the most self absorbed cocksucker known to man!" She pounced on him and began fighting him. He shrunk down to the size of a mouse, but that didn't stop her from cupping him in her hands and throwing him against the wall. In mid air, he turned back to a normal size, so hitting the wall hurt him. He couldn't even get up.

She noticed Hego coming at her from the corner of her eye. She easily got out of the way from him and began using her advanced martial arts to defeat him. The twins didn't do anything but cower in a corner. She didn't blame them. She was acting like a monster. She had changed too. "Sister, you are acting like a…villain." Hego said lamely as he got up.

"Maybe I am a villain." She said. "Just maybe I am."

"You're evil." Hego said and pointed at her.

"Yeah, you're totally evil." Mego said, his eyes wide with fear.

"Evil, what a funny word really." She pushed her older brothers down with her plasma and she stood over them and stared down at them. "Evil means morally bad or wrong. But maybe I don't think this is wrong or bad, so am I really evil? Well, I guess maybe in your eyes." She made a piece of rubble fall on top of Hego so that he couldn't get up. Mego was too afraid to even blink. "Funny thing is, evil spelled backwards is live and I haven't felt more alive than now." It was true. Shego felt powerful and superior to her brothers, especially Hego. She hadn't realized she was that good at fighting either. She was learning quite a few things over the past couple of months, almost a year.

When she heard the sirens of coming from outside, she made a getaway and ran as fast as she could towards Go Tower. For some reason, she wasn't crying about how her brothers had neglected her and completely had forgotten her mere existence. Instead, she was grinning and loved the sound of her heart pulsing in her ears. She loved the fact that she didn't feel bound to her brothers anymore. She was going to get away from it all.

Shego ran up to her room and looked through her belongings, only taking what she absolutely needed in her backpack. She considered getting rid of the uniform, but wouldn't it be funny that something made from Global Justice was being used and worn by a villain? So, she stuffed a few of her jumpsuits in her bag. But she didn't need the stupid mask. She wanted to be recognized as Shego and she would be, not some freak behind a mask trying to hide their identity behind that small pathetic thing.

When Shego walked past the Wego's room, she felt as if she was abandoning them. She was probably the only sane person in that tower besides them. So, she decided to leave them a note on their dresser.

_Aidan and Aaron,_

_I'm sorry that I have to leave you two behind, but I can't take you with me. It's too risky now that Hego and Mego had probably ratted me out and I don't really want to be charged with kidnapping. Anyway, you two are my favorite brothers, the only ones I still consider family. I realize that I changed a lot too and it isn't just those two who did. But hear me out okay? I know your respect for me is probably close to none, but that's okay and I understand._

_When I turn eighteen in a few weeks, I'm setting some money aside for you two in a bank account. I don't know if it'll be under Shego or Noelle but you won't be able to access it until you're eighteen. But if you ever want to get away from Team Go, don't feel like you're bound to it. If or when you want to leave, make sure you're old enough. I'd say at least sixteen. Anyway, if you're ever in a jam, I'll be here for you. And even when you screw up, I'll be there to set you straight. Trust me._

_I couldn't leave without saying goodbye to you two. I know it's an unconventional way (look it up if you don't know what it means-it'll increase your vocabulary and outsmart Hego) say bye this way, but it's the best I could do. I love you two no matter what. _

_Love, _

_Noelle_

Shego didn't know why she signed it in her birth name when she knew Noelle was officially dead as of that night. Noelle was weak, scared, and unaccepted. But Shego was smart, strong, and will be feared, she guaranteed that.

She left through the window and took a cab to Upperton where Tyler was staying. She had to see him and she had to ask for a place to stay. She began to look forward to it, thinking that if she went there, she'd see her kids and then they'd live happily ever after.

But that all went downhill when she knocked on Tyler's door and he stepped outside the house and shut the door, looking completely serious. "What are you doing here, Shego?" Funny, he never had called her Shego.

"I know it's a few weeks early, but I'm almost eighteen and I came here to live with you and Maelie, Austin, and Kiara." Shego said but her face fell when she saw his.

"Listen, Shego, I'm sorry but I can't. You're a wanted thief. It would be too dangerous for the kids if you live here. If it was just me, I'd say go ahead. But you're all over the news." Tyler explained.

"But…"

"I'd love for you to be here, but you can't. Not as Shego. Once you get your life together and you're Noelle again, then I'll happily welcome you back. But right now is not a good time. Get yourself together and come back when you're ready." So he had noticed Noelle's sudden death too. And now she was a wanted criminal? But she only stole some money and expensive items from museums…okay, she was a thief and she actually liked it.

"But how will I know when I'm ready if I think I'm ready now?"

"Not sure, but you'll know when you're ready. But now, you're a drug addict," He said, pulling up her sleeve and revealing those needle holes.

"How did you know?" She asked.

"I didn't, I just guessed and I'm right. I love you, but not like this. Get some help and come back."

"I love you too." She said. He kissed her on the cheek.

"I'll see you on my doorstep when you're better." Tyler smiled and entered his house and shut the door, locking her out. Shego turned around and began walking away from his house. She was surprised she wasn't crying. But why would she cry? Shego doesn't cry. Noelle does, but Shego doesn't. Shego doesn't give a shit. Noelle wonders whether she'd go to heaven or hell when she dies. Shego doesn't give a damn where she'll end up after death whether it be hell or just rotting in the ground and becoming nutrients for some kind of plant. She believed the latter was more credible.

Shego found herself wandering the streets of Lowerton a few nights later after Christmas. She had entered a bar with a tough crowd and she found that people there actually admired her. "Screw the system," said the bartender and gave her an alcoholic beverage. Even though she was only eighteen, he served her some because of who she was. She liked that treatment, but it didn't take the feeling of being alone away. "It serves those banks right. They stole all this money from us common folk and they expect us to be okay with it. Not you though, you know what's right even if you are a thief and you tend to scare people."

"Good." She said and took a sip of her drink. She wouldn't chug it because then she'd be like her father. Being like her mother was enough. She hated that she had become her mother, but worse. Her mother had one child before age eighteen, Shego had three. Her mother abandoned her children, Shego had abandoned hers at birth. At least her mother stuck around for a few years. Her mother couldn't survive without her cocaine; Shego needed her heroin to make her feel alive. She had given up smoking pot, though. One drug was enough.

"Hey, you're Shego right?" A man sat down next to her. It seemed as if she had gotten famous over night after the big blowout with her brothers.

"Who wants to know?" She asked him.

"Will."

"What do you want?"

"I hear you're a new thief. But wouldn't you want to be one and get paid for it?" He asked her.

"I guess so. But so far it's been paying for itself." Shego said and took a sip of her drink.

"But hear me out. It'll be a steady pay and you'll get your own room in the lair."

"Are you trying to hire me?" Shego asked and raised her eyebrow at him.

"Oh, no not for me. I'm here to find potential henchmen or this case, woman, for a position to work for Dr. Drakken." He said and handed her a magazine and flipped it over to the back page where the ad was located.

"Who's Dr. Drakken?" She asked him. "I've never heard of him."

"Oh, he's going to be the ruler of the world someday, I guarantee it. Within two to three years, he'll be running this whole thing." Will smiled at her. "So if you like power, and a lot of it, you should go for an interview soon."

"I'll think about it." She said and put the magazine in her bag. Will walked away and wished her well. But she wouldn't just think about it, she'd go for the interview. It was right around the area in some mountains. She'd get there. The pay sounded good, but what she was going for was to show her brothers that she did indeed have power. And she'd shove her power in their faces in some prison cell. Well, only Hego and Mego. The twins would get to stay in the future palace. Yes, she liked that idea. She wanted power.

* * *

_There will most likely be a part 3 that I already started working on. Please read and review!_


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Kim Possible.

Shego decided she'd go for the interview even though the interview wasn't for another few days. She managed to get up in the mountains and found the "secret" lair quite easily. She hoped that he wasn't as stupid as the other villains she had met back when she was a heroine. She rang the doorbell. She knew it was close to twelve at night, but she figured if he truly was a mad scientist, then he'd be up at this hour. Besides, she needed a place to stay. She couldn't keep staying in those motels where everyone hit on her and wanted sex from her (which she sometimes gave the better looking ones). Anyway she was right, he was because he looked quite awake and dressed despite the bags under his eyes. How old was he? Late thirties? Early forties? Somewhere in there. "Who are you?" He asked and looked her up and down. Not in a sick way like Reese did, but in a way in which he was studying to see where she came from and who she was.

"I'm Shego." She said. "And I'm here to take the position of-"

"Sidekick?" He questioned.

"Well, that wasn't the way it was put in the ad, but sure. I wouldn't mind being a sidekick." Shego said. She stared at his blue lab coat and his black hair that was pulled back into a pony tail; it was kind of like a mini mullet. It kind of disgusted her, but she didn't really care enough to be revolted by it. Besides, it was his decision and he was around her mother's age. No, she couldn't think about her mother. Not now at least.

"You do realize you're quite early for the interview-days early." He said to her and let her into the lair anyway. He must have been desperate for a sidekick or something because he wasn't going to wait for someone possibly more experienced than her. But then again, what other villain had been trained by Global Justice?

"I do realize it, but I was in the area and I don't know where I'd be in a couple of days. I could be in Iceland." She responded to him. She had always wanted to go there for a vacation or something. From the pictures she had seen, it looked pretty and peaceful.

"Why wouldn't you want to go to Greenland?"

"Iceland's the nice one, Greenland's all icy." She wanted to roll her eyes at him, but stopped from doing so. She had to make a good first impression, even if it was the wrong one. She was glad that she hadn't taken her drugs that night or else it would be one messed up interview, that was for sure.

"Right." He said. "I never understood the Vikings. Please, sit down." He sat in a large arm chair that faced the couch on an angle. She took a seat on the couch. It felt odd sitting on a forty year old man's couch by the soft glow from the fire in the fireplace. He could have just wanted sex from her. She wouldn't put it past any man. She knew that she was really pretty and promiscuous and what man wouldn't want that?

Dr. Drakken picked up a notebook that probably had questions in it for her to answer. He picked up a pen and put it close to the paper so it looked like he was ready to write. "What's your name?"

"I already told you; it's Shego." She said.

"I don't believe that's your real name. I need this to put your file together if I hire you." Dr. Drakken said and looked at her, anticipating for an answer. She decided that she'd be secretive. She wouldn't give out her real identity. From society's point of view, Noelle Gordon was probably dead but they never found her body, so her true identity was pending. But then again, Noelle Gordon wasn't her true identity anymore. She was Shego now. So technically, she wasn't lying to him or being secretive. To her, Noelle was gone but Shego managed to grow from her kind of like a flower; Noelle was a struggling bud just waiting to bloom but couldn't do it, so instead Shego took over and was close to blooming that flower. She just needed more time. Eventually, she'd be that flower.

"It's Shego." She persisted. "I'm Shego now, not who I used to be."

"Well, all right." Dr. Drakken said and wrote down those five letters. "Weird name." He mumbled.

"And Dr. Drakken isn't?" She asked him.

"Moving on…" He said. "Your birthday." She didn't know whether to tell him her birthday or not. That would be awkward, well not really, but then again odds are many people have her birthday. It wasn't important.

"I don't think that's important." She said to him. "Next question."

"Why don't you think it's important?" He asked her. "Surely you celebrate your own birthday."

"I haven't since I was thirteen." She said. "Never thought birthdays were that special."

"I pity you, really I do." Dr. Drakken said and wrote something down, probably unknown or something along those lines. He asked her other questions and she answered most of them, like her experience stealing things such as money and priceless (she still didn't understand that) gems. She showed him her unique abilities, and he was impressed with them. She told him about how she knew many martial arts and mastered them. When he asked her how she got those powers and how she knew so many martial arts, she just said that she had her resources. She left out the comet, her brothers, Team Go, and Global Justice. She mentioned that she could pilot and drive complex machinery such as planes, jets, helicopters, and those kinds of things.

He asked her about her family history and she said she didn't have one. He had said he felt sorry for her and she said it was all right because she was a loner most of the time anyway. "And why do you want this job?" Dr. Drakken asked her.

"Money, power, and I'll be well known and the best." Shego said and smiled at him. It was more of a smirk because Shego didn't smile that innocent smile that Noelle used to get away with.

"You seem perfect for the position but I need your age. I really need to know it in your case because you look quite young." Dr. Drakken asked her. "I can't hire you unless you tell me your age."

"Eighteen." She said simply. "So, yes, I'm a legal adult so you won't get in any trouble."

"Only eighteen?" Drakken asked her. "I don't know if I should even consider you."

"I think you should." Shego said. "Because if you don't, I heard that other soon to be big time villains would want me, maybe Professor Dementor." She smirked at him again, knowing that he just had to hire her now. If not, then she'd be out of there and she'd be taking over the world with some other villain. She could tell he didn't like that.

"I'm sorry, but I don't feel comfortable hiring an eighteen year old girl. You could stay here tonight if you'd like." He offered her. She thought about the offer, but she couldn't take it. She was angry and upset that she couldn't even get a simple job. She was too young. She assumed the other guy would say the same thing, not that she'd go work for Dementor. She thought that threatening to work for someone else would easily get her the job, but she still had much to learn in the evil business.

"No thanks." She said. She wouldn't beg for the job. She could survive for years on the amount of money she had stolen from Go City's banks. "I don't even know why I came here. It's not like I even need a job anyway." She got up from her chair and started towards the door.

"I don't feel comfortable with you going out this late at night." Dr. Drakken said. "Please, stay in the guest bedroom."

"No thanks. I can take care of myself." She said and adjusted the pack on her shoulders and let herself out.

So that hadn't gone well. Maybe she should have stayed with her brothers for a few more years until she was at least twenty one and then she could have just left them. She began to regret everything she had done. She wished she had never stolen a thing. She shouldn't have because then she'd be able to stay with Tyler and her children. But was she even good enough to be a mother? No, she knew that answer to that. She really wasn't a good enough person to take care of her kids. She wasn't even close to being a good person let alone a good mother.

However, even though she was aching for her family, she really enjoyed being a thief. She loved the adrenaline rush that it gave her. She was hoping that the job with a mad scientist would be more dangerous and more life threatening. She used to hate risking her life for other people with nothing in return, but she loved risking her life for herself, as odd as that sounded.

Shego had no reason to steal anything anymore. She had money and she didn't really need anything and the risks weren't as fun anymore because it was too easy. She wanted a challenge, but her brothers weren't even a challenge for her in the end of it all.

Shego found herself getting high in an alley with a few other people. The girl there was kind of too weird for her, but she stuck around anyway. She was too high to go out in public. Even though she couldn't think straight, she wasn't stupid.

The girl there was about a year or two older than her. She started trying to have sex, if she could even call it that, with Shego. However, Shego didn't like when women did that to her, so she pushed her away and let one of the guys there hit on her. She let him touch her practically everywhere. Since it was so dark, no one could tell that her pale skin had that green tint to it and since they were all so high, she didn't have to worry as much. They'd never know.

Shego ended up having sex yet again. She did practically everything with this man accept anal sex which she refused to do. But anything else was fair game. She learned his name was Marc and she didn't really want anything to do with him because he wasn't that good looking and he wasn't that cool. She told him that to his face and he ended up calling her an ice bitch. She didn't really care that he called her that because she didn't care about him.

So, Shego moved on to another gang that primarily just smoked weed. She still did heroin, but not as much. She went back to smoking weed. She had sex with every man there, which was about seven. She was the only female there and that made her feel kind of special actually. "Hey have you ever tried this stuff?" One of the men asked her as they sat around the fireplace in his house. His name was Greg and he was actually quite hot in her opinion. He was the main person she had sex with. She could tell the other six men were jealous. She liked that; they were men all in their twenties, the youngest was twenty three. Greg was about twenty six. She liked the older guys better than the younger ones. Well, except Tyler, he was the only exception. He was the only one who truly understood her.

"What is it?" She sat up straighter, looking at the white cube. Greg put it in the palm of her hand. She just stared at it, waiting for an answer.

"LSD." He said. So she was holding the super drug of all drugs. She didn't know whether she should take it or not. Everyone else had already swallowed theirs. She almost put it in her mouth when one of the guys, Dave, came barging in the door with a girl in his arms. Shego gave the LSD back to Greg and she stood up.

"What are you doing with her, Dave?" Sure, she was high but she knew that whatever he was going to do with her wasn't good.

"She's my bed buddy for the night. What do you say, pretty girl?" He was slurring his words. He was drunk. Shego stared at the girl. She couldn't really make out her facial features too well because her dark orange hair was covering her face. She had braces though, she could tell. Shego was glad she never had to have those. Anyway, she saw that this girl hardly even had any boobs and she was too underdeveloped to be of legal age. Shego used the couch for support and stood up.

"What the fuck are you doing? She's probably only twelve! Let her go, Dave." Shego approached him slowly. "Just let her go."

"How else am I gonna get laid tonight? I need to get laid tonight!" He began yelling at her and the more he yelled, the tighter he squeezed the poor girl's arm.

"I'll have sex with you, just let her go." Shego said. She didn't need this innocent girl getting raped by Dave. She hated having sex with him because he was incredibly rough and treated her terribly. But better her than a twelve year old.

"You will?" He said, releasing the girl from his grasp.

"Eh, why not?" She acted as if it was no big deal. She walked over to the girl, making sure that Dave didn't grab her and lock himself in the bedroom with her. He had done that before, but with a woman who was somewhat willing and asking for it. She took the girl and led her out with both of her long, slim fingers on her shoulders. She shut the door behind them.

"Thank you." The girl said in a whisper.

"What are you even doing here in Lowerton? You don't really look like you're from here." Shego asked her, wondering why someone who didn't know the streets would be out this late at night. The girl had put her hood up, so she couldn't make anything about her out and she herself had put up her hood on her sweatshirt so that she could hide her face and skin from people outside.

"I was at the Lowerton mall and my ride bailed on me so I decided to walk home." She said. Shego could hear her voice shaking. She was probably scaring the girl. She probably looked insane.

"You don't seem like a smart kid." She said. "You never go wandering around Lowerton, especially this part of it, at night."

"Why not?"

"Gee, I don't know…maybe because there are rapists and drug addicts and people in gangs that'll kill you if they don't like the way you look." She said to the girl.

"I am smart." The girl said defiantly. "I get straight A's in school." She stated that almost too proudly. This girl was probably somewhat like a child prodigy.

"Doesn't mean you're smart." Shego said to her. "What's your name?" The girl started to say her name but Shego interrupted her. "Stop, don't say it. I thought your parents would have taught you not to say your name to strangers, especially people like me. You may be academically smart, but your street smarts are terrible. Go and run as fast as you can out of this neighborhood. Don't turn around for anyone. You just run." The girl stood there, probably staring at her. "What are you waiting for? Go!" And the girl ran as fast as she could, which was actually pretty fast for a girl who looked as sheltered as her.

"Get in here baby!" Dave shouted out the door for her. Shego sighed and turned around and followed Dave inside the little house. She was taken into the bedroom. Dave locked the door and dimmed the lights to his liking. "Get naked." He demanded. She listened to him and took off her clothes and he took his off. He pushed her onto the bed and put his mouth on hers, kissing her hard and very unromantically. She had to kiss him back. It was forced. His mouth tasted like cigarettes which she hated. It may have sounded hypocritical considering she did drugs, but she hated cigarettes, the only legal drug. His tongue had entered her mouth, so she was forced to kiss back. She assumed this could be considered rape because she didn't want to, but she figured it really wasn't because she agreed to it. But the thing was, she was used to this kind of treatment. She was able to stick up for herself, she did have a backbone, but she wanted to feel as if she was needed and right now Dave needed her, she told herself even though deep down he only really wanted her for the night.

She let him do his thing and thrust deep inside her, in and out repeatedly. It hurt her because he was rough, but she acted as if it didn't hurt because if she did, she wouldn't seem tough anymore. She wouldn't have these guys to depend on anymore. And if she upset them, she would have to find another place to go get her drugs. She didn't want to go back to Go City where Sammy and Reese and Jason were. She really didn't want to go back to them.

Shego woke up the next morning next to Greg like usual. She wondered if she had sex with him the night before. She had been drinking, so anything was possible. It didn't really matter to her. Sex was just sex and nothing more. People were meant to have sex.

Shego sat around the fireplace with the guys again. It was the middle of the day and she they all didn't really feel like going out. Instead, they took drugs. Shego injected herself with heroin. One of the guys there, Harry, wanted some and he almost took her needle, but she didn't let him. There was no way she'd be sharing needles with people. She wasn't that stupid. "Hey, sorry about the other night." Greg said.

"You mean last night?" Shego asked. She didn't feel like doing much of anything. That's what heroin did to her, it made her unmotivated.

"Yeah. You didn't get to try the LSD like you wanted." Did she even want it? She couldn't really remember. That night was a bit too fuzzy. She remembered a girl; and she had sex with Dave, but that was about it. He placed it in her hand again.

Shego looked out the small window. It looked like the sun was setting. It'd be dark soon. She watched the other guys pop the LSD in their mouths but she was hesitant about it. She put it close to her mouth. Her lips touched it. She was going to let go of it, but she heard sirens right outside the door. "Shit." Dave said.

"Are they comin' here?" Asked Chris stupidly. She could tell that the LSD had taken over because the guys looked as if they were freaking out. Shego dropped the LSD and put it under the couch because she didn't want to try it now. She didn't want to be a screaming freak like the guys were.

"Open up!" One of the policemen said and banged on the door. "We'll break the door down if you don't answer!" Three seconds went by and the door hit the ground with a thud. There was a chorus of swear words from the guys. Shego decided she'd keep her mouth shut and play innocent. She figured maybe she could trick the police.

"Do you even have a fucking warrant?" Greg asked as he was handcuffed. He was the main source of the drugs in Lowerton. They'd wanted him for a long time. The police didn't even answer. Shego figured that they didn't. The police broke their own laws these days. Justice didn't even exist anymore in her mind. It probably never did. Shego looked at her arms. She was glad that she had used some of the spray tan on herself. She probably used the whole can last night while she was drunk, but she was pretty glad that she did it. One of the policemen grabbed her arms and yanked her into one of the police cars.

She was in the police station and was across from a policeman who was going to ask her questions. "Name?" He asked her. Shego thought about a name. She wouldn't use any of hers because that would just be stupid. She was a bit drunk and high, but not too drunk and high. She knew what was going on.

"Giselle." She blurted out her mother's name. Why had she said that? It didn't really matter, just as long as she kept her answers short and sweet. And played innocent; she hadn't done it in a while, but she knew damn well that she was good at it. She just looked at the man with her eyes. She knew her green ones weren't as innocent as her blue eyes had once been, but they'd have to do.

"Okay, Giselle. What were you doing with those seven men?" He asked her. She shrugged.

"I'm not really sure, sir."

"How did you meet them?" He asked her.

"Umm, on the street one night." She lied.

"Did you do drugs with them?" He asked her.

"Yes."

"What kind?"

"I just mainly smoked pot. I tried heroin a few times. They tried to give me LSD but I didn't take it." Shego said almost truthfully.

"How old are you?" He asked her.

"Just turned seventeen sir." She had to make herself sound like a minor. This way, she wouldn't be charged with too much and maybe she'd get out with a simple fine or something.

"Really? What high school do you attend?"

"I don't go to high school. I'm homeschooled. I have a tutor." She said.

"How long have you been with these men?"

"Umm, not too long. I met them about a week or two ago. Almost two weeks ago." She said. She could tell he was convinced by her lie. "Please don't arrest me." She said. She let a few tears fall. Not too many, but just enough to put the icing on the cake. "I won't do this again. I promise. I was only experimenting but I know it's dangerous now."

"Where do you live?" He sighed. Shego told him the address of Dr. Drakken's lair. She didn't really know why she did but it was the first thing that came into her mind. "Come on, I'll bring you home."

"Thank you." She said with a steady voice even though on the inside she was freaking out. Would Dr. Drakken go along with it? She didn't know. Would he tell them who she really was? She hoped not. While she was in the police car, she rubbed some of the spray tan off of her forearm. This way, he'd know who she was just in case there was a slight chance that he'd go along with it.

The policeman escorted her up to the lair that was currently disguised as a house. Funny, it hadn't been disguised before. She didn't know why, but she was kind of relieved when she saw that it was. "You could just leave me here." Shego suggested.

"No, I want to make sure that you get in safe." Lame excuse, but she went along with it so she nodded. He rang the doorbell. It was late at night, around midnight by now, she assumed. Dr. Drakken answered the door and almost jumped when he saw the policeman. "Hello sir, your daughter Giselle was caught with the possession of drugs and I believe she is still drunk." Drunk? Funny, she didn't feel drunk at all. But she realized she couldn't walk by herself. The policeman was holding her up. Huh, she hadn't even noticed. Maybe she drank more than she thought.

"Oh, umm…" Dr. Drakken said. Good thing it looked as if he had just gotten out of bed. He probably did. She slightly pulled her sleeve up and indicated towards her green tinted skin. He looked her in the eyes. He had recognized her. Maybe he wasn't too bad after all. "Yes, I'll take care of her officer. I hope she didn't cause too much trouble for you."

"Oh, no not really. She has been cooperative. Just keep a better eye on her. I won't charge her this time because she claims she's a minor. Just make sure Giselle here doesn't do this again."

"Right. Good night officer. I'll take it from here." He grabbed Shego and helped her into his lair and shut the door. He helped her to the couch and sat her down. He went into the kitchen and got her a glass of water. "What were you doing? And why did you have him bring you here out of all places?" She took a few sips of the water and handed it to him. She could tell that she was drunk now when she could barely put the cup on the table.

"This was the only place I could think of on the spot." She slurred her words when she spoke. He handed her the water and made her finish it before he continued to talk to her.

"Giselle…is that your real name?" He asked her, getting off track.

"No. Old family member's name."

"Thought you said you didn't have a family." Dr. Drakken said.

"I don't." Shego said.

"What were you doing out there tonight?"

"If you must know, was getting high and drinking and having sex and getting caught by the police…" She was just babbling now and she couldn't even stop it. She was crying too. She didn't even want to cry. Shego didn't cry. She felt Shego slipping away and Noelle was coming out from the depths of it all. "I wish somebody cared." She cried. "I just wish there was someone out there who accepted me for me, not just a pretty face or a hot body. Just someone I could go to when I have problems; someone who would believe me when I tell them things and they would ask me if I was okay instead of I'm giving them a bad name or asking what is wrong with me. What is wrong with me, I want to know. What is wrong with me that I just can't be cared for or even loved?" She wasn't making much sense, but her sadness was coming out. She had been ignoring that emotion for a pretty long time.

"Are you okay?" He asked her. She stifled a small sad laugh.

"No I'm not. I doubt I ever will be. I'll just be jumping from drug group to drug group and steal money for more drugs, then I'll probably drink. That's going to be my fucking life. I guarantee it. I just can't fit in anywhere. I couldn't even fit in with my old family. I'm like some weird puzzle piece that doesn't fit in the space that needs to be filled, but there are no other pieces to fill it. The manufacturer made a mistake with the puzzle pieces and they got the unwanted one which is me."

"Shego, you aren't making any sense." Dr. Drakken said to her.

"Of course I'm not. I'm probably so fucked up right now." She cried. "I want a place to call home. I want someone to wake up in the morning and be there every day and ask me how I'm doing and even care about me when I'm in a bad mood or when I'm sarcastic."

"You need to take a deep breath and calm down, okay?" He said to her.

"How can I calm down? Look at me, I'm only eighteen and I've probably fucked more guys than you fucked girls." She saw him blush for a second, but then it went away when he realized the language she was using.

"Don't use that kind of language around here." He said to her.

"Why shouldn't I? They're bad words for a bad girl."

"Oh, you're not a bad girl." He said and patted her back. "Just misunderstood."

"Someone told me I'm evil. Do you think I'm evil?"

"No, I don't think a thief is evil. You're just a bit of a kleptomaniac or you like the adrenaline rush you get from doing things you know you shouldn't be doing. Am I right?" She nodded her head, indicating that he was indeed correct. "There's nothing wrong with that. And besides, the law is something that most conform to. People like you and me don't conform to everything that we're told to. There's nothing wrong with that."

"Where am I going to go?" She whispered. "I'm not sure if I'll even make it to my next birthday if I keep living with random people and doing these drugs."

"You're hired." He said to her.

"Excuse me?" She asked.

"I'm hiring you. The interviews didn't go too well. So, I'm hiring you. That means you'll get to stay here and have a place to stay. But there are some conditions or I'm not hiring you."

"What are they?" She asked him, calming down.

"You stop taking drugs and stop having sex with strangers." She was amazed that he actually listened to her and he was pretty much a stranger; she didn't know him well nor did he know her well.

"Why? So you get a better performance out of me?"

"No actually, it's for your health. And partially that too. And I don't like drugs in my house. And second, I want you to attend college and get some kind of degree. I don't care if you go to a university, community college, or you even do online courses. It'll keep your mind busy while I'm working. You don't need to tell me what college courses you'll be taking or anything. I just want you to get a college degree. It's very important. And I want you to make sure you actually want this job in villainy." Dr. Drakken explained.

"I think that can be possible." Shego said. She yawned and felt her eyes getting heavy.

"Come on, you can stay in your new bedroom." He stood up. She tried to get up, but she couldn't. She was too tired and tipsy for that. She felt him lift her up. She felt like she was a child again. It reminded her of when she was little, maybe five, and Henry would carry her into bed often. She didn't want to think about who Hego had once been. She hated him now and it would stay that way. She had to completely put her past behind her and focus on the present. And the present was, she was developing a headache, probably a hangover was starting to make itself known to her. All she knew was she had fallen asleep before she had gotten into bed.

The next day she woke up under the blankets in her pajamas? How did these get on her? Her cheeks had become red with embarrassment when she realized Dr. Drakken must have done something with her last night. She figured he probably had his way with her. And she didn't blame him; she had been an easy target. But then she realized her bra was still on and she still had the same pair of underwear. She began to think that he really didn't do anything with her and he just wanted her to get out of her tight black jeans and t shirt.

She was glad when she realized she must have slept off the hangover. She took a look at the alarm clock on the nightstand next to the bed and saw it was three in the afternoon. She must have slept pretty well.

Shego got out of the bed and noticed a bathroom was connected to the room. She looked inside of it and saw that there was a green robe and towel sitting on the bathroom counter for her. She noticed there was some shampoo and conditioner there too. She read the scent on it and saw it was warm vanilla sugar from Bath and Body Works. Why did he even have this? She noticed antibacterial soap from there as well as lotion. Odd that he would even have anything from that store.

Shego went back into the bedroom. She noticed the walls were painted a gray color and the carpet was blue. She'd definitely have to change that as soon as possible. Shego saw that her backpack wasn't there anymore. Where had he put it? She eyed the closet; it would most likely be in there. When she opened the closet, she noticed that her clothes had been hung up neatly, all facing the same direction. She didn't have much, but her three jumpsuits were there along with her three shirts. She saw that a dresser was across the room and opened it. She saw that he had put away her undergarments and her three pairs of jeans. And it looked like they were all clean; they had been washed.

Shego grabbed an outfit and laid it out on her bed. She took a shower. She really deserved it, she thought, because she hadn't taken a relaxing (well, one without sex) in months.

Shego got out of the shower and got dressed. She put on her dark blue skinny jeans and tight black shirt. She did her makeup and her hair which took a while because of the amount of hair that she had cascading down her back.

She emerged from the bedroom and looked both ways down the hallway. She wasn't really sure which way to go but she took a right out of it anyway. The worst thing that could happen was she'd have to turn around. But luckily, it looked like she went the right way. She had found her way to what looked like the living room and saw that Dr. Drakken was reading a book on the couch. He looked up from the book and saw her standing there. He smiled, put the book down and sat up. Shego saw that he gestured for her to sit down on the couch, so she did. "You're finally up." He said. Not in a mean way, but just stating a known fact.

"No, really?" She found herself saying.

"Feeling better than last night? You were pretty upset." Dr. Drakken looked concerned. But the thing was, she didn't remember ever being upset. She just remembered him offering her the job and agreeing to the terms he said, and he carried her off to bed.

"I was?" She questioned.

"Yeah you were. You were crying and everything." That didn't sound right.

"I don't cry." She looked at him with no expression. "I haven't cried in like years."

"Well, you cried last night and told me that you had been doing things you shouldn't be doing basically because you feel like you aren't loved or cared for." He said to her, completely serious.

"Odd." She said. "I don't think that I'd tell you all of that anyway." Shego said and tried to dismiss him, but it didn't work because he kept on talking to her but he dropped it pretty fast after saying,

"Even though we just met, I care about you." Was he really serious? She literally laughed out loud at that.

"I don't think so." She said to him. "Look, I don't want to be mean, but I doubt that you care about me."

"Well, you can doubt it, but it's true." He chose his words carefully, she assumed, because he looked at her a certain way. She couldn't describe it, but she just knew.

"I can't just trust you right away." She said to him. "It'll take me some time to get used to this whole idea."

"All right." He settled with her. "But maybe in time, we can be some kind of evil family." He smiled like a six year old in a candy store. She rolled her eyes at his well, cheesiness.

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves." She said to him. "Let's focus on the now."

"Well, then you're probably hungry considering how much you threw up at two in the morning."

"What are you talking about?" She asked him.

"You were so drunk, you puked. Or you had a hangover."

"I have a pretty high alcohol tolerance. I doubt I puked." Shego said. She didn't remember throwing up because of alcohol. But maybe she didn't remember it.

"I swear I've never seen anyone puke so much." Dr. Drakken said. "I wanted to puke just watching you puke."

"Can we stop talking about me puking please?" She asked him. She didn't like vomit and she didn't like to talk about it; especially the kind she didn't seem to remember.

"Let's go in the kitchen and discuss your contract. I made you some breakfast this morning." He said as he led her into the kitchen. "I made you a plate." He said and pulled out her chair. She sat down and he easily pushed her in. He went to the refrigerator and heated up the plate in the microwave. He brought the plate over to her along with a fork and knife. She looked at the eggs and sausages and smelled them. They seemed edible enough, so she began to eat them slowly. He handed her the contract for her to look over. She read it as she ate, and she was pleased with what it said. She liked the pay and all of that. She liked that she'd get holidays and Sundays off. She wondered why Sunday, but she didn't question it. She realized that she'd be a thief and pretty much his bodyguard. Good, at least she'd get some action and that adrenaline rushed she loved.

"So?" He questioned her and anticipated for an answer.

"So far I like what I see, but I want to add a clause to it." She said to him and took a sip of her orange juice that he must have put there for her.

"What's that?" He asked her, genuinely interested and for some reason, he wasn't angry.

"I know that you're a mad scientist guy so I want to add a no cloning clause to the contract. Then I'll sign it." Shego said. She knew that people would probably want more of her after they saw her in action. She wasn't stupid. She watched him leave the room and she waited there eating her breakfast for ten or fifteen minutes in silence.

When Dr. Drakken came back, he handed her a copy of the same contract. She flipped through it and saw that he had added the no cloning clause to the contract. After she read it over, she approved of it. She made sure to reread the contract for the use of anything that could go against her, such as double negatives and things that were worded funny. But she couldn't find anything. She picked up the pen he had put down next to her plate. She pushed her plate of food away and placed the contract flat on the table. She clicked the pen and began to sign the contract (using the name Shego of course). As she signed it, she felt as if she was going to start a new chapter in her life but at the same time she felt like she was going to sign away her freedom and she didn't like the sound of that. But as she thought about it, she realized that too much freedom didn't do her any good. She needed to sign some of her freedom away, she supposed. But she still felt confined, as if she was trapped in a cardboard box with no way out of it. She felt claustrophobic.

Shego had to start looking and applying to colleges immediately. She was accepted to Upperton University. She had to wear a disguise of course because of her job, but that didn't bother her. She enrolled with the name Noelle Gordon. She didn't know why she did it because it was risky, but it was the best thing that she could do. She couldn't make up a social security number or anything like that. (Well, at the time she knew she couldn't).

Dr. Drakken stayed out of her business when she did the whole college thing. He knew she was applying, but he kept his distance. He was mostly in the lab anyway, so it didn't really matter anyway. She had bought a blonde wig and some spray tanning cans.

Shego had put on some weight since she stopped doing drugs so frequently. This wasn't a bad thing because before she probably looked pretty scary with barely any body fat. She was pleased that she had become a size2-4 instead of a zero. So, she had to buy new clothes. She loved shopping anyway and it gave her an excuse to shop. And Dr. Drakken gave her his credit card, so she couldn't argue with that.

She wondered why he was so nice to her. She knew he wasn't looking for sex because he would have asked for it by now or led her on or something. He was just a nice guy and she was glad about that. No one had really treated her this well before and she loved it. Maybe signing away some of her freedom was okay because it was being replaced with someone who cared about her.

Shego looked through the majors the college offered. She didn't really know what she should pursue. For some reason, Tyler had popped into her head. He had once told her she was good with kids. So, she decided on teaching and majoring in child development. She didn't even know why she chose it, but it was good enough for her even though it was practical. She doubted she'd ever use it anyway. And the courses looked easy, so it worked out for her.

On the first day that she'd be attending college, she looked at herself in the mirror. She really did look good. She wasn't as bony and she didn't have any bags under her eyes from lack of sleep. The needle holes on her arms cleared up because she had stopped using drugs altogether. She hadn't even smoked pot. "I'm proud of you." Dr. Drakken said. She looked up at his reflection in the mirror she was standing in front of. "You're a good girl, you know that?" She didn't know why he said that when she had been stealing things for him.

"Oh, yes, I'm such a good girl." She said sarcastically and rolled her eyes.

"Shego! What did I say about giving me lip?" He said angrily, but then quickly calmed down. He looked at her wig. "Blonde, huh? Didn't think you'd be the blonde type."

"There'd be less of a chance they'd guess it's me." She said to him. She had her own reasons, but she didn't have to tell him exactly why.

"You're right." He said. He looked over to the right on her dresser. "What is that?" Dr. Drakken pointed at her old heroine needle. She hadn't even touched it in months. She hadn't thrown it away. He picked it up and realized exactly what it was. "No, you're not, are you?" He asked her.

"No, I'm not." She said, showing him her arms which were needle hole free.

"Then why do you have it?" Dr. Drakken asked her.

"For shits and giggles."

"Shego!" He shouted at her.

"I really don't know." She answered truthfully.

"Well, get rid of it today before you even leave this lair young lady!"

"Oh, yes father," She said and batted her eyes. "I wouldn't want to do anything that would ever upset you, honest."

"Shego, just…nrah!" He said with frustration. She laughed at him and picked up the needle.

"Don't worry about it, I'll get rid of it."

"Now." He said. "I'll watch you." She was led to the kitchen in front of the garbage. She had wrapped the needle up in paper towels so that an animal or a person wouldn't get injected with it. She hesitated before throwing it away. She was being forced to throw it out, which she didn't like. She hated to be told what to do and when to do it. But the needle held memories as stupid as that sounded. It was her first escape and gave her the freedom to get away from her problems, brothers, and helped her get out of the house. However, she knew it also ruined her. This thing caused her to act irrationally and have sex with people for drugs and led her to where she was. She wished she hadn't taken the needle in the first place mainly because she wished she could be with Tyler, Maelie, Austin, and Kiara. She wondered if she'd ever see them again.

But she knew she would see them again because she'd get her life back together someday. But first, she needed help from someone and that someone was Dr. Drakken. He probably didn't know it, but he was the only one that even wanted to try to help her.

Shego knew she had to take this step. She had to throw out the needle and let go of that darker past she wanted to get rid of. No, she couldn't throw this needle away like that. She unwrapped it carefully from the paper towels. Dr. Drakken just watched her and didn't say a word. Her left hand began to glow. She melted the needle right there in her hand. As it melted, she felt her dark past melt away. She felt as if she was renewed and better. She dumped the ashes in the garbage. Her past was gone.

Shego was finally free.


End file.
